Well the next few days will be hard. I stumbled across an article today while looking for some back ground images for a project I am working on. duckdaotsu.blogspot/2005/03/first-time-brian-frost-picked-up-gun.html Frost was a brother, friend, roommate, and some one I failed. He let the war get the better of him after getting back and less than a month after I moved out and back home. I never saw the trouble he was having, mainly due to me dealing with my own, but that doesnt really matter because I should have seen more and done more. Its one of those things that will always haunt me. I learned about his passing by a random chance phone call his mother made to me back in 2006, a year almost to the day from when he took his life. I am not looking for sympathy at all, I am strong enough to shoulder my burden and keep moving, I have a family and friends that I cling to and they to me. But I want to make sure people, friends and strangers alike are aware of the problem that these men and women face when they get back. Our country, especially the current admin, do little to nothing for us when we get back, in fact they are doing their best to kick more of us out of the military and take away that sense of purpose that we cling to which keeps us grounded. The programs that are out there are great but cant reach as far as they would like, no fault of their own. I didnt get help and the VA docs were a joke, was paired with some baby face toddler that just got off his own mothers teat. What helped me were my friends, my never giving up Can Do Attitude family, and the most awesome woman that God could have ever put in my life along with the three kids she has given me. But some are not as lucky as I was/am. I have had 5 brothers I served with let their depression get a hold on them that they couldnt get away from and have been to the funeral of nearly 7 others that I did as well, and there are more stories than I can count that I have heard about having the same trouble and outcome. Please cling to that man or woman in your life that served and never quit talking and engaging them, push them outside of the comfort zone all the while letting them know that you are right there with them. You wont understand it and you cant, but it will make a difference I promise you. They dont need to open up and talk about it, I never have, but my friends and family helped me move back into life itself and see that I was stronger than my deepest days in depression. It wont ever leave them, but the longer and harder you fight with them, the longer and harder they will fight for themselves and you. The stronger they will become, and one day they will come across an article and while it will bring back horrible sadness and memories both good and bad, they wont let it take control of their life, wont let it get a foot in the door to their mind, wont let it sit on the throne of their heart and rule over them. I miss you brother and I am sorry I failed you when you needed me the most, sorry I wasnt there when you needed to talk to someone and didnt know who, sorry that I wasnt able to see past the suck it up and drive on mask we were taught to wear, I am sorry I wasnt there when you needed a shoulder to help lighten the load. I made a promise to you that I wouldnt stand by and let it happen again to a brother or sister if I could and I have lived up to that promise so far and will keep it till the day I die.
Posted on: Mon, 04 Aug 2014 22:43:37 +0000
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