Well tomorrow is your birthday yet again, of all days I wish you were both here, so much going on and going through.I need one of my rocks ,but I can`t and that just is so unfair, after years you1d think I`d be used to it , but it don`t get better and I am not sure why,I just am never into the holiday spirit,as I try it never seems to work They say do it for your kids , mom its so damn hard .where do I begin ,If I made more money I could bake cookies with Krystal for a week , but man that cost some money,I never realized it because you always handled that .I miss us as a family I miss decorating your tree and your stand you had ,I hear christmas music at work 8 hours straight and most of the time I hear you singing them same songs, very depressing after a while , at first the memories come and its nice but after weeks hearing it I feel like im loosing my damn mind!I been thinking about maybe talking to someone to see if that would help any , but I don`t wanna have them thinking Lady its been over 10 years!!plus I aint an open person , never was.So I try and deal with this every single day.thats why I made this page to see if it would help ,write down what I am feeling and hoping you really do see what is all going on,just lately I havent felt good enough ,seems theres always someone doing something to try and hurt me,I keep to myself and still they try , just the other day at work someone tried pushing my buttons and been happening over and over and well that day I just wasnt in the mood , things are going on here at the house that is just not good.And I walked in to get a battery for the department phone and one co worker friend asked me if I had straightened my hair which I did that morning and rarly do for work and I said Nope being sarcastic trying to get into a better mood well another co worker said you dont need to be comming up in here with that attitude I turned and Looked like Really, I proceeded to walk and get a charger , shes still rambling on , I walk away from the counter and says did you hear me ,I stopped and looked at her and Said Yes I did , and you know what!!!Its a free country I can act and be who ever I wanna be and walked away. If she would of came around that counter I would of lost my Job I would of beat her ass and good!I am so sick and tired of people pushing me and saying shit when half the time its trash talk, why bash people ,is your life that miserable that you wanna make everyone elses that way too?later that same day Janice came in ,shes a co-worker which became a really good friend to me, I never met someone with the same personality as mine!!She is awesome happy always joking and just in it for fun,she truly made my day better .The day we met I said hey that`s my moms middle name.she said well she had a good one...lol or something in them lines...Guess we were meant to cross paths and I am so thankful she has a job there.well my feet are frozen and I got up early and worked all day ,time to catch up on some Day`s Ahhhh remember watching that together ,yeah Im still hooked!! I love you both so much for ever and Always!Happy Birthday Dad Till we meet again. Your Daughter, Rebecca
Posted on: Sat, 20 Dec 2014 02:22:39 +0000
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