Well, tomorrow myself and Heidi and my Mum ( Dad will be in our hearts and minds ) and sister and her family sister will all gather for the traditional Christmas lunch of roast turkey, , Yorkshire pudding, roasted potatoes, peas, parsnips, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts followed by Christmas pudding and custard and, of course, after that, for me anyway……………………..lashings of hemorrhoid cream. Most nights, like most people, I shovel food into my mouth with one hand while using the other to stab away at the remote control, desperately trying to find something on television that isn’t about penguins and polar bears and Hallmark sugar filled bollocks. But at Christmas it’s the law that the television is turned off while we eat…………..oh FFS It all begins with the turkey and where you by it and what it has been raised on. The thing is that nobody knows what they’re talking about because turkey is not like wine. Yes, those with a sensitive palate could tell the difference between a turkey that has been raised on yak crap or one that has been feasting on caviar …………..but could you really tell the difference between one from Publix and one from your local farm? I couldn’t. My Dad used to carve the turkey so it falls on me to do this because for reasons I don’t fully understand, it is a man’s job. Perhaps it’s because he hasn’t done the cooking or argued with the kids and is, therefore, in a better frame of mind to deal with the carving knife which, somehow, after a week in a drawer, has become as sharp as Judge Judy’s arse. And before you know it……..it’s all over and you’re curled up in front of the TV watching a Frozen realising there is only 365 days until Christmas. That’s it for me, normal Facebook will resume on Monday and I will plough through all your questions, post the January movie schedule and talk to you more about what will happen in January. Please have a wonderful Christmas and a brilliant holiday. Drink too much. Eat too much. Don’t feel guilty about the presents you give or those that you receive. And just for a day, care not for your sodding carbon footprint Be happy and have fun. Your friend John
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 09:20:39 +0000
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