Well, well, well ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. Once again it’s time to take a ride on the wild side. Welcome back to another episode of “Tales from the Short Bus!!!” Today was one of those days when you’re so stunned at what you heard that you can’t do anything else but shake your head. If you make the mistake of trying to understand their logic and listen to their retarded explanation, you will truly regret that maneuver. I heard four of the DUMMEST WINDOW LICKERS stories in a while, but due to the sequester from Congress and time constraints, I can only tell you about the top idiot of the day. So without further ado let’s take this pimped out Short Bus ride for a spin around the neighborhood. This village idiot was sooooo freaking dumb that he made a rock turn a flip. (SMH) Sorry, I was being a little sarcastic. This Warp drive engineer was pickup last month and was out on bond awaiting his court date for having marijuana less than an ounce in his car. Well Sir Stupid was pulled over yesterday for his tint being illegal (too dark for legal limit) for his front driver and passenger’s window. When Professor Retard exits the car and gives the deputy permission to search the car the deputy finds 50.1 grams of Mary Jane in a glass jar on the floor. Hmmmmm, let’s just say that 50.1 grams is just a little bit more than an ounce shall we. Professor Retard asks the judge to please give him a bond so he can take care of his four year old son. This is the moment I did a triple take and my mind was blown after that statement. I saying was saying in my mind, “I can’t believe he asked any judge to even think about giving you a bond for being that STUPID!!!!” The judge looked in in the face and she said, “No Bond.” He facial expression was like “Wow man, I can’t believe she didn’t give me a bond.” I had to grit my teeth in order to have him to get up and go back to the holding cell. When we gathered all the little daredevil inmates up and place them on the Short Bus heading back to the jail this Warp drive technician says to me, “Sir, why were you looking at me like I had did something wrong?” My reply to him, “Really, you don’t have a freaking clue why I’m looking at you as if you’re the dumbest person on the planet right now?” I stated to him “I want you to take in a deep breath, because in your world you are truly all alone.” “How many times have a thought entered into your head then committed suicide because of the emptiness in your head?” Well, that’s enough of the Adventures on the Short Bus for today. Always remember to be on the lookout for the extremely stupid in your neck of the woods and keep a bottle of Windex close by for an inmate who may need to lick on some glass.
Posted on: Wed, 05 Jun 2013 17:44:57 +0000
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