We’ve all heard about that run-of-the-mill, pretty-good, one-horse shay... It turns out that that guy who opined that aging isn’t for the faint of heart may be onto something. For about the last 20 years, I’ve been ignoring a low-grade ache in my right hip. About three weeks ago, the morning pain level went from a relatively easily-ignored two-out-of-ten to about six or seven. I made an appointment with the Orthopaedic Institute. Mind you, between Sherry’s hand and wrist repairs, her and her dad’s arthroscopic back procedures, and my rotator cuff surgery of two or three years ago, hearing from us tends to trigger dancing in the staff parking lot.... Dr. Parr did the initial workup, including a CAT scan and MRI, and concluded that sometime during the last 20 years (surprise!), I have acquired scoliosis of the lower half of my back, causing pinching of nerves exiting from between the vertebrae, and resultant pain, which in the last week and a half or so has mounted to somewhere in the vicinity of eight and a half to nine first thing in the morning, tapering off to four or five by midday or evening. Dr. Parr: “Well, the good news is, you have the hips of a 20-year-old. You will not need a replacement hip. The bad news is, you have the worst lower back of anyone I’ve ever seen other than myself.” The first steps were injections of cortisone into the epidural spaces of L4/5 and facet joint blocks. Not the most fun way to spend an hour, but didn’t increase the pain level much even at the time, though overall it provided little or no long-term relief. So the following week we did it again. —And oh my… An instant ten, which took the better part of an hour to drop off to a seven or eight so I could at least get off the table. However, every day since then has felt about the same, beginning first thing in the morning with a robust nine. Additionally, that second injection also introduced to me to my present meaningful relationship with hydrocodone. At the moment, unbelievably, I’m actually more fond of Lortabs than of French dark chocolate. Particularly since the effects last only five to six hours before pain levels mount back up into the oh-my-goodness level.… Needless to say, it’s time for another visit with Men With Knives. That’s the good news. The bad news is, unless there’s a cancellation, the earliest either of the Orthopaedic Institute’s back specialists has an opening is June 30th. Which means rationing: We’ve picked up a refill on the Lortabs, and scoured the house for overage leftovers from our previous surgeries (you’re only allowed one refill unless you’re under the care of a certified pain relief specialist). Even rationing the Lortabs to make them last, this does not promise to be a fun sort of month. But I’m sure it will help build character… !!!$#%$#% character…!
Posted on: Fri, 30 May 2014 18:37:09 +0000
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