What God Looks for in a Woman Spiritual and practical wisdom plus moral virtues mark the character of the Proverbs 31:10–31 woman. The twenty-two verses are set forth as the prayer of every mother for the future wife of her son. Although they reflect the customs of the ancient world, the principles apply to women even to this day. God wants her to see that her character is priceless to God. “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies” (v. 10). In the ancient world, rubies were rare and costly. They were the most valued gems and, therefore, the most desired for displaying wealth. However, in God’s sight, the value of a virtuous woman—a godly wife and biblical mother—far exceeds that of any earthly commodity. When God puts a high price tag on something, we need to take notice. Why would He think she is so valuable? God says in Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.” That word “favor” is the word “grace” in Hebrew. The woman who lives this way, with this mindset, choosing to conform her life around what is valuable to God, is a gracious woman in His sight—a woman of inestimable, incalculable value to Him. Because she is so rare, her worth to God is priceless! God wants her husband to trust her completely. “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain” (v. 11). Not only is her worth to God inestimable, but she has also won her husband’s full confidence. It is by choosing God’s goals, and His ways, that the wife becomes one in whom her husband can place his absolute trust. Because of this, he will have no lack of gain in any realm—in his home, family, marriage, private life, or public life. He can feel safe in every sphere because he has faith in her godly character. When a marriage is as God intended, both the man and woman are completed in every way (Genesis 2:18–25). That is how God designed it to be. God wants her life devoted to serving. “She does him good and not evil all the days of her life” (v. 12). This is powerful! Her husband is greatly blessed because his wife is dedicated to serving not only his needs, but also the needs of others. I believe that is where her priceless worth comes from, because “even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve” (Mark 10:45). Jesus said that the greatest person is the one with a servant’s heart (Mark 10:42–44). Even in Old Testament times, this amazing woman discovered this wondrous truth. Outsiders are commonly hired to staff the service industries in Israel today. Affluent, highly successful business people don’t want to do service jobs. This is part of our western culture as well. When you look at who mows the lawns and who cleans the houses, it is certainly not the “movers and shakers” of the world. It is common to think that the greatest person is in charge, not serving. The Lord’s church holds a totally opposite world view: the greatest jobs in the church are the servant jobs. And, as in this Proverbs 31 poem, the greatest jobs in the home are the serving jobs. The virtuous woman’s life is dedicated to serving others: her husband, her children, the community, the poor, her business interests, and her many other outreaches. She has learned the reality Christ spoke of: the servant of all is the greatest of all. This is the key to God’s grace making her life have an endless impact on others, because she serves them so well. God wants her body focused on ministry. Starting in verse 13, the elements of the virtuous woman’s character are all woven together—like the threads of a delicate tapestry. One of the unique stops for travelers in Turkey is always the Persian rug factories. There, sitting before large looms, women work for long hours, month after month, hand-weaving the countless fibers of exquisite and expensive carpets. Each color is woven, cut, and beaten tight—hour after hour. Often a day is measured in tenths of an inch of work, and thousands of threads. The beauty of the front is seen in the complexity of the back, where the labor can be viewed in the myriads of threads. That weaving is illustrative of Proverbs 31 in that the intertwined threads of the virtuous woman’s life make the delicate tapestry of her life of great worth to God. What are those threads? We see them beautifully woven throughout verses 13–26. By God’s grace and as a ministry to the Lord the virtuous woman sacrificially uses her body’s members to do priceless service for the Lord; and as we look at ways she ministers to others, note that God makes no mention of her hair, or smooth skin, or how much she weighs, or what she wears. All her beauty is described without any outward physical element attached to it because God focuses on hearts (1 Samuel 16:7). Maybe this is because she is to do everything she can to please her husband—to be beautiful for the one man God has chosen for her to complete. Dear sister, is your God-given body focused on pleasing your husband? Have you gotten to the place where you can honestly and openly ask your husband what would help you to even more beautifully serve him? That would bring great glory to the God who created you to complete one man for life! God wants her hands offered for others. “She . . . willingly works with her hands. . . . She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. . . . Give her of the fruit of her hands” (vv. 13b, 19–20, 31a). Starting in verse 13, God describes the virtuous woman as having hands that are given to serving others. If you want to see a beautiful part of a woman, look at what her hands are doing. When our first child was two days old, he was rushed to a children’s hospital. I will never forget seeing little Johnny in that incubator with all the tubes, IVs, and everything else. When we finally got him back from the ICU, he surely was precious. That made us really hesitate to leave him, even momentarily. It was a big moment the day we finally decided to put him into the church nursery. There at the counter a dear old saintly woman greeted us, and as she extended her hands toward Johnny, we saw her most precious crinkly-skinned face and eyes that radiated a life of ministry and service for others. We later found out that she had served in that nursery for forty years by holding many cherished babies of concerned parents just like us. Are your hands devoted tools for serving others? God wants her arms extended in service. “She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms” (v. 17a). The virtuous woman’s ministry doesn’t stop with her hands; her arms are also used for serving others. Sometimes her arms are carrying children; sometimes they are handing out necessities to the poor and needy; sometimes they are full of products to sell; and sometimes they are loaded with the clothes she has made for her children. Through all these ministries, her arms are strengthened for serving. How much more noble that is than mere fleeting beauty! God wants her mouth dispensing godly wisdom. “She opens her mouth with wisdom” (v. 26a). Her hands are beautiful because they serve; her arms are beautiful because they serve; and her mouth is beautiful because it too serves. Titus 2:1–7 calls us to use our mouths to teach, exhort, and encourage others. Is that what you have as your goal? When the virtuous woman speaks, it is with wisdom. Where does wisdom come from? It comes from above—from the Lord (James 1:5; 3:17). God says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom” (Colossians 3:16). That speaks of the fullness of the Spirit, and when we are full of God’s Spirit, what comes out of our mouths? The Word of God! God wants her tongue controlled by kindness. “On her tongue is the law of kindness” (v. 26b). The virtuous woman’s tongue is harnessed by the Spirit of God, and is therefore bound by kindness for God’s glory! God’s woman is completely under God’s control. Thus she serves others, not herself. God, in contrast, says, “If anyone among you thinks [she] is religious, and does not bridle [her] tongue but deceives [her] own heart, this one’s religion is useless” (James 1:26). That three-ounce-wonder called the tongue must be harnessed because God says it is an unruly evil (James 3:1–18). The virtuous woman will “let [her] speech always be with grace” (Colossians 4:6a). A woman who uses her tongue for ministry will speak blessings to others! God wants her household to be her priority. “She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household” (v. 15). The virtuous woman even sacrifices sleep for her home, for her family. God, who inspired this passage, is saying, “I’m measuring this woman by how much she ministers to her family—not by her focus on herself, not by her focus on her career, not by her focus on personal gratification. No, I’m honoring her for making her family her priority.” When Paul was writing to Timothy, women were excelling in the theatre, in hunting, and in all types of athletics and sports. Women had more options and many chose not to marry as the Roman society became more affluent. Actually, to see a woman marry, bear children, and manage her home was often a mockery in the first-century culture. This role, however, has always been important to God. He emphasizes that theme in this verse: “Admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:4–5). Consider one more New Testament word to women: “I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (1 Timothy 5:14). The context of this verse is referring to younger women. God wants them to marry, bear children, and manage their homes well. Instead of trying to make a mark on Broadway, Wall Street, or any other venture, a young woman should make her mark on her home. God says, “I’m the One who will pass out the rewards. I’m the One who will pass out the crowns. And what I honor is not what the world honors!” Scripture says that this woman has given her household her highest priority. First and foremost, her ministry must be to her husband, and then to her children, because God says that is what is important to Him. God wants her children to be her sacred trust from God. “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” (v. 28). Her children are her sacred trust from God, and when she invests in them, she receives and reaps a harvest of praise and blessing. Is there anything sweeter than the simplicity and honesty of a child’s voice expressing words of love and adoration and thanksgiving? There is nothing—no card, no honor, no medal, no trophy the world could ever give—that can match children rising up and blessing their mother! The godly woman’s children are her sacred trust from Him, and when she does well, she will also reap a harvest of praise and blessing from their earthly father! This is an excerpt from Chapter 5 The Worlds Most Beautiful Women in this book: amazon/Word-Filled-Families-Walk-Truth-ebook/dp/B003OIBGMQ/ref=la_B001K8Y0SE_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1422364807&sr=1-5
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 13:23:58 +0000
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