What I think when I go to Costco.... -Did I remember my card? -These carts are like SUVs. -Where did all these people come from? -How are all these people members? There are seriously five times as many people here as there are at Target, a place with no membership. -Whatever, I’m just going to get a couple of things, get in and get out. -OH SNAP FOOD SAMPLES. -WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE AT THIS SAMPLE BOOTH? -Are those vitamin samples? No, thank you. -Let’s see what’s happening over at the hot samples. -Why does every hot sample booth have a crowd of people 10 feet deep circling over it? -I have never seen so many people so uniformly dedicated to getting a free sample of something. -GASP, IT’S BECAUSE THE SAMPLES ARE CAKE! -AND/OR MINI EGG ROLLS! -AND/OR PIZZA! -NOOO, the sample lady says it’s going to be five minutes until the samples are ready. -I guess I could go shopping and then come back… -But no, then I will lose my place in line for these precious precious free samples. -I must stay here in line and stay strong. -Seriously, everyone needs to stop cutting in line, I was here for free samples first. -Get between me and free samples and I will cut you. -THE OVEN FULL OF COOKED FOOD IS OPENING. -Everyone is closing in on this sample lady, there is seriously about to be a riot. -I am now fighting people for what is basically two bites of food, max. -What am I doing with my life? -Sample lady is telling everyone that the sample food is very hot, literally no one is listening. -I am also not listening. -Everyone is burning their mouths with hot cheese and loving it. -BEST TASTING FOOD EVER. -Wait, what did I come here for in the first place? -Why is everything that I need so far away from everything that is tasty? I feel like I need a sherpa. -Hmmm, should I buy seven sticks of deodorant at once? -Wow, I forgot how expensive deodorant is. -But the savings! -Why does every container of everything only come in two sizes: the Hagrid and the Incredible Hulk? -I get buying in bulk, but I am not even sure where this is going to fit in my house. -How am I going to get all this toilet paper to my car? -Do I need three pounds of salad? Does anyone? -OK, I found everything I need, the hard part is over, just need to check out. -WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE LINES? -THESE ARE LIKE DISNEYLAND LINES. -Is there an apocalypse happening soon that I haven’t heard about? Because that is what it looks like in here. -I could always get deodorant at CVS. -I could always get salad at the grocery store. -How weird would it be if I just left everything here and went home? -How did I just spent $ 200 on six things? -Whatever, I just want to get out of here. -Costco is the worst. -But I have enough stuff here so that I don’t have to set foot inside a Costco for weeks. -Costco is amazing! (thx to Lezlie)
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 18:17:26 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015