What a day! Damn my balls are sweaty! I Just used my boobs to get out of a speeding ticket. I had to rush down to the pharmacy. It was so urgent, I ran in screaming Anyone have a tampon, Im out? Once I finished with the cop, at least I was in the right place to ask the receptionist How do you get rid of foot fungus? I went for a stroll through the park to see if I could meet up with anybody I knew. Why is nobody around when Im horny? I got caught short and had to nip behind a hedge for a quick dump. No toilet paper, goodbye socks! While I was putting my shoes back on, I got a text. Someone has offered me a job as a condom tester, but Im hesitant. I dont want to contribute to global warming by increasing the demand for rubber. I cant think about the future just now anyway. Im too distracted. I think Im in love with someone, what should I do? To see if I can attract them with my manly musk, Ive decided to stop wearing underwear. Its confirmed, Im going to be a Daddy! The cat is with kittens! At least Ill be able to provide for them. I just won £900 on a scratch card. At least it means that as well as being able to provide for the kittens, I can give up making money by letting strange men motorboat my boobs. I love my big bouncy boobies. Thankfully, Im not the only one. That cop was quite fond too! Thank God he was a man. If I get stopped by a lady cop, I just swing my balls back and forth. Anyway, got to go now. I can feel those six pints of Guinness and four packets of peanuts getting angry. Oops! That wasnt a fart, new pants please. Sophy Murray
Posted on: Fri, 22 Aug 2014 14:25:08 +0000