What an incredible week my family has had. Monday we finally laid my little five month old nephew to rest right with my dad where he belonged. Although it doesnt take away the pain it does give Bradly a final resting place. My sister Tina called Monday morning so sick from having strep throat and was disappointed she could not go. Never would I have imagined something so simple and common would have turned into something so surreal. My sister comes to my shop every Thursday to help me. We spend the day really talking about different subjects and all the things heavy on our minds. This week she sent a text saying she was in the hospital and couldnt come in to help. I was worried and told her to just get better. Last week our conversation was eerie when I think of it now. We talked about how we felt others would react if we were not here tomorrow. Both of us had similar thoughts. Do you ever feel like no matter what you do for people its never enough? That you do more and more and it goes unappreciated or unnoticed. That if you were not here tomorrow perhaps no one would really even notice your absence. We both felt the answer would be simple and it was that it would go unnoticed. When I think of this now its sad to me because we go on every day without really thinking about the people in our lives and the possibility that tomorrow may not come. Who really thinks like that, right? Thursday I got a call from my sisters husband. Not only was she admitted but they were rushing her into emergency surgery because she was having difficulty breating. That is a scary thing to happen. For months Ive woken up from a dead sleep with the feeling like I was suffocating and struggled to breath. I wasnt but the feeling was scary to say the least. My sister experienced this first hand. She was in the ER alone because my brother in law had to run home quickly and they told her she had to go in for surgery. Scary enough but worse when your alone. She called my brother in law and told him he called me immediately and I ran up to the hospital. We all did, my sisters, my brother, our mom and other family members. We waited and waited to what seemed like forever and finally got in to see her. She was incubated and placed on a ventilator to breath. She was now fighting off strep, tonsillitis, a swollen voice box and a severe ear infection. Now she was hooked up to machines, medications and was sedated so she would not feel a thing. The moment I saw her my heart sank. What is going on here, how can things change so quickly? But it does. Life can change in a split second and we may never get the chance to make our wrongs right or to say sorry when needed. Then its too late and we carry that with us for ever. Life changes so much and so fast that its crazy to not love all the time. Its crazy to not take the very people you need in your life and hold them tighter every day. To tell them you love them and just tell them your sorry when you need to. Admit your mistakes because its OK god made us to forgive others. So for this thought when we questioned if it would even be noticed our absence the answer was yes. Suddenly when your life is hanging by a thread and all those you questioned if they would notice are all siting there praying for your recovery. Its sad to think that it comes to this to bring everyone together, to open their eyes to be noticed that you exist. Is this what it has to take to be noticed or appreciated? The Drs said flat out if she didnt come in when she did and had that surgery she would have died. Her throat would have swollen up and she would have suffocated. We sat there waiting for news. I prayed hard, I begged god to watch over her to carry her through. I told him that she wasnt finished being awesome yet. She needed more time and she would indeed be missed incredibly by those she doubted would notice. They did indeed care and they were all there or calling to check up on her. It came to her almost dying for her to see or feel the love from all those that she was always there for. She was loved and loved big. She would be missed. I pleaded with God that I would no longer be upset over the things I cant change. I would appreciate everything and take nothing for granted. I prayed hard. This year was rough on my whole family but I continued to pray for Gods help and I continued to trust in him. Tina was taken off the ventilator and was becoming alert. They said she wouldnt remember a thing but she heard our voices. She heard and fought to be here. She was so close. Now my dad passed away and because of the situation her dad came to see her at the hospital. We were unsure of what was going to happen and he asked to go see her. She was out but she recalls hearing an unfamiliar voice telling her its ok your dad is here. The question is now was it the voice of our father, who raised her saying its OK to let go hes there or was it her father telling its OK to fight and stay. She woke up and the thought of being so close to death really scared her. But knowing how many people were there supporting her and praying overwhelmed her. She pulled through and was trying to crack a few jokes in the process. She is making progress. Life Is precious. It is so valuable and it should never get to the point of near death for us to see it. Please make every day count. Make every moment memorable and live life to its fullest. Dont wait for the people you love to be gone before you learn to appreciate them. Love them while they are here. Its sad it took this to feel the love of those you loved unconditionaly. Thank you god for hearing my prayers. As for everyone else stop waiting for tomorrow to fix your wrongs of today because you may lose that window of opportunity. Make lasting memories of a lifetime. I love you Tina and I am so happy your pulling through. You would be missed and it would be noticed. Until next time. T
Posted on: Sat, 11 Oct 2014 06:22:20 +0000
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