What can I say. Theres just so much I want to let out. Let me be real and honest with everyone. I have a lot of issues and problems. I have a gambling problem, and it makes me have bad anxiety and depression. Im on a lot of medication because I dont know how to control my mood and my heart. I dropped a lot of friends because I came to realize whos real and whos not. Want to know what I do daily, its simple actually, I wake up, eat, sit in bed, then head to the gym then come home for the remainder of the night. I dont have friends anymore like I used to. Thats why its hard for me to date because Ive been looking for the right person, and what I want is not whats around here. I dont drink anymore really, I dont like going to bars, Im not fun anymore. Im scared of real life, Im scared to face the truth that Im getting older and what do I have to show for it? The thing Im good at is dancing, and thats not a full career . The friends I had made fun of the fact I danced and called me out for it because I dance for girls and guys. Honestly I dont care what you think anymore, I dance for men also, big freaking deal. I dont care if theyre gay, straight , bi, theyre human, get over it. I like doing it. At least it makes me feel good knowing someone appreciates what I do. I have people who judge me daily, calling me gay, and all this shit. Listen Im straight and personally I rather hang with a gay friend then anyone. They at least listen to me and respect me. Im deleting 40% of people on facebook . I need to reevaluate things and figure out who I truly am. Im just scared okay, are you happy everyone . You wonder why I make facebook statuss and try to make people believe Im happy and cheerful, well Im not . This is why I need to find a new select few in my life and hold on to them. Theres no one anymore that can change my happiness or be there for me , not even family, sad isnt it. Sorry for who ever I hurt in my past and sorry for not being the best I should of been. Things will change soon , And all this anger I have is building higher and higher and I just dont want to snap .
Posted on: Sat, 29 Nov 2014 05:24:19 +0000