What cancer does to one. You forget how to truly smile, the smile never reaching your eyes. You do know how to sob, having an endless supply of tears. You unwittingly allow the devil in and entertain the worst thoughts. Prayer becomes a form of recitation where you just repeat the same pleading words over and over again. Your heart feels physical pain with every bit of bad news, worry and stress. You become too scared to question in case you annoy the powers that be. You quietly think what if and then get so scared at the thought that you immediately return to prayer. Nothing has the same attraction as it used to have from going out to eating something you once enjoed. You find yourself arguing with your loved ones, who, because they care, lecture you on how you should behave and handle these difficult times. Even listening to people laughing and enjoying themselves is a new experience. Arranging your life around your skype so that you do not miss that all important call and let down a little man who wakes up, goes straight to his ipad to share his day with you. You neglect those you are close to and care about because your whole world is centred around the ones that need you most. I have no words to describe how much I hate Cancer. I just know that is destroys lives is more ways than one.
Posted on: Thu, 03 Apr 2014 09:33:58 +0000
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