What does one do when you have been conned into marrying through a matrimonial site? Should you leave the person or stick to him? Vandana belongs to a community in Madhya Pradesh where girls get married early. She is the fourth daughter born to a dominating father and a suppressed mother. The family was waiting for a son but to their dismay a daughter was born. Vandana was not breast fed for three days. She was not even held by her mother. The first relationship of trust was discounted. Freud speaks about this oral stage as trust/ mistrust. Vandana was stuck in this stage. As she grew up the script of trust/ mistrust played itself out. At the age of 11 she was molested by her uncle. She could not speak up for it was discounted as a childs fantasy. This continued and internally she continued to rebel against the conservative suffocation that she felt. All her sisters married off now it was her turn. She fought tooth and nail and decided to move out and study. She became an engineer. Her parents were now worried as there was no educated male in their community. They asked her to register on a matrimonial site. She liked the profile of many, but somehow her present husband was popping up more than often. She decided to marry him. Her parents were happy as the groom was from their community. This was a turning point in her family village. Parents began to think it was advisable for their daughters to study. Vandana had helped make a breakthrough in the traditional stronghold. She was happy. The honeymoon didnt last for long. Very soon she realised that her husbands payslips were not reflecting the salary he had shown. She investigated and found that he had lied. She slapped him and he confessed. This was repeated once more and now her distrust increased. She decided to make this relationship work as her community was looking up to her. Her parents too were happy that she had made it. Their respect had grown in the eyes of their society. Her husband has mended his ways. He is working hard and in the last two years he has been steadily climbing up in his career graph. He is caring and loving and gives her credit for making him responsible. She knows that he is putting in all the effort but her distrusting nature is not leaving her. Her past life gave her much needed insight. Her inability to live with him in another life had possibly got the man to con her to marry him. She will need to accept her husband completely for her life to be fulfilled. Vandana is willing to let go of her distrusting nature and embrace trust. Ones life script is decided early on in life. Once you know the hurdles you can make attempts to overcome them. Many of you may be thinking how can Vandana forget how her husband coined her? This is when forgiving plays the biggest role. Can you forgive or cant you will determine your scripts future. If she leaves him her distrust will get her into another similar situation while if she forgives and turns her life around ....her trust will grow. Her infant script will thus transform and she will be free of it forever. Write in your comments as I value them a lot.
Posted on: Tue, 07 Oct 2014 05:25:54 +0000
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