What happened that they felt their life was forfeit? What happened was this. They were told about a perfection that they knew they could not meet. Told of a love and a living that was specific and circumscribed, a life that cut off appendages in the effort to force living into a box that was tight, with walls of satin and a lid to close out the sunlight. Once you are outside of the life that you are told you should live, outside of the confines of the world of meaning, relegated to a place where no matter what you say, no matter how cogent and rational your logic, nor impassioned and heartfelt your pleas, no matter the method of your communicating, no mater that, you are not heard, for you were dismissed based on choices that you felt you had no choice in. Once upon th time you are an outsider it is so much easier to do what you please. There is no need to ask permission when you know the answer will be no. Once upon the knowledge that doing what you like speaks to who you are, you will find ways to subvert the expectations. If one thing was denied form you and it was chocolate, then what is the flavor of strawberry, rum-ripple and of peanut butter fluff? Any aberration becomes a charmed thing once you partake of one. It is not a slippery slope, it is the writing on the outside of the walls you are no longer confined by. I knew people who tried, men and boys when wished only to connect and to care and only a little bit to get off, but the getting off, the stepping off of the merry go round of expectations which was, is, a dizzying circle of the same old same old over and over, once they stepped off the wooden unicorn to find a real magical animal, a creature that lived in themselves and roamed free of the the bridle that is social constraint, once there they found that they could not re-enter the gate that enclosed the carousel. It did not appeal to them and they were too tall to ride on that any more. Innocence is not lost, it is not misplaced, not for some, not for many, It is shed and eschewed, it is given up willingly, it is asked to be taken. All the rules that protect are the same that suffocate.
Posted on: Mon, 02 Sep 2013 18:23:11 +0000