What has your experience been of loss or grief? Posted by Mike Dineen on August 19, 2008 I have lost something precious and am still grieving. It may be a neverending process. I used to be a healthy, fit sporty individual, until it all fell apart on Dec 31st 3 YEARS AGO. I have lesions on my brain which is why I cant be sure of the year, as my memory is banjaxed. I was an actor/singer/dancer with a satisfying career, I lived from this and loved doing it. A typical day for me was to get up at the crack of mid-morning, spend a couple of hours promising myself I would really mend my ways, & recovering slowly but surely from the previous nights excesses/ fun & froliks. I would then run through the lines for a play in my head, as I prepared a healthy breakfast of good things. Then I would canter down the four flights of steps to my letter box to see if I had received any goodies in my postbox. I expected cards from exotic places, sent by close friends, and/or distant farflung foreigners. My friends know my tastes and these cards would be used to decorate my beautiful sunny appartment, which was already decorated with cheap richness & jewels & images to within an inch of its Parisian life. Of course it being the holiday season, I expected glittery cards to continue, to add to my collection. But, I digress, and if I continue to go off on a tangent, you will probably go off in a huff. And mother nature in her wisdom, has her partical physics down to a fine art, and never the twain shall meet. So back to a typical day: I would make myself presentable-enough to meet the world, feed & clothe my body, and check electronic & snail mail for stimulation & surprises and head to the metro (subway). I would go by train to a meeting point where I would liase with Nicki, a franco-American actress and Creative/Artistic director of the OZ theatre company- an English language theatre company specialising in TIE (theatre in Education). Then we would drive to some school in the Greater Paris Region and we would chat, exchange, & recreate the world, and find our way through morning traffic to the designated school. When we eventually found it, and discoverd where we were to perform, we would drive to the nearest door and unload the portable set & costumes. While Nicki had done all the driving, I generally did most of the hauling and carrying-a mans job. And we set up our beautiful portable set to change a sports hall or a dining room into a theatrical space. While Nicki did her hair & Make-up I did some physical and vocal warm ups. And the Magic began. Nicki & Mike became Little & Big and danced/sang /acted their way through several Fairytales & Nursery rhymes, to the joy and fascination of several incredulous 7-12 yearolds who laughed and clapped at the appropriate moments. They also bood the Wolf or the Ogre, and shivered in excitement as the Ogre growled Ominously Im Hungry..... Each show lasted 45 MINS and we then spent 20 mins or so talking to the kids & encouraging them to sing, ask questions in English. It was fun & exhausting, & rewarding, like my life in general. We did one or two shows per day- So I was exhausted, but fit & fulfilled. This was how my days were filled. In the evenings I usually performed at the theatre, in some serious play by prestegious playwrites such as Beckett/ Wilde or Pinter or Shakespeare. And on the nights I didnt have a play I worked as a barman in a Jazz cellar in Montmartre. So in a way, its not so surprising that my body cried out Halt, and I went into a coma, due to Meningitic Encephalitis, and spent the next year and a half in various hospitals. When I got out of the coma, I could no longer walk, talk or control even my most basic bodily functions.... yes , you got it.... And for a while I couldnt eat nor drink nor breath so I was wired up to all sortsa contraptions to keep me alive. Ready for some good news yet? well today, I went to La Casa del Tango and danced with some wonderful women. And I ate & drank to my hearts & bellies delight. I still have to take 17 pills each day, have physiotherapy three times a week and can no longer live in my beautiful glitzy appt. on the fourth floor. Now I live in whats called an ACT ( very apt for an actor) and have a small one-roomed appartment in a block of 12 apparts. run by a team of people ranging from the exceptionally competent & fabulous to the dismally dubious and Awfully abysmal. The other inmates of this outfit also range from the psycopathically pathetic to the amazingly awsome, and I have made new friends and foes. I now have a photo ID card that says I am 80% handicapped and with each passing day I manage to prove this right and wrong to varying degrees. I am hemiplegic on the left side. I still grieve my lost health but am aware of my luck to be stubborn & resilient, If I was given this challenge, Somebodyelse, perhaps less capable was spared.(perhaps a family member or a friend) I admire myself for being creative and being able to see the light side of even the darkest scenario. I am healing myself and getting my life back with help/love and understanding. Thank you , Mike, the lover, the writer, the joker, the fighter. (Rest in peace Mike, we love you!)
Posted on: Sat, 19 Apr 2014 20:24:54 +0000
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