What if the greatest darkness leads you to the greatest Light? What if your greatest pain leads you to look at the greatest suffering...the cross? What if your empty aching arms leads you to the sweetest embrace you will ever know...that of the Savior? What if your longing for the precious creation leads you to the magnificent Creator? The morning of July 22,1995 was the darkest moment of my life. I had spent the evening fighting for my life as did my 3 children and at the EXACT moment my lungs were stabilized, Tiffany Maries gave out and she flew to the arms of our Savior. There were 2 babies in the NICU who were not expected to live. All my hopes and dreams of being a mom seemed to be disintegrating! For 12 weeks many of them very alone times on bedrest and in a hospital room, I read my Bible, prayed fervently and rallied some awesome prayer warriors. I did not want to want what God did not want for me. Please dont give me false hope, I prayed over and over. I could take anything or so I thought, but dont give me false hope. And with each loss in what began as a quintuplet pregnancy, God would give me a verse of hope. The first loss at 6 weeks...Do not be dismayed by reason of this great multitude for the battle is not yours, but Gods. ~2Chronicles 20:15. The second loss at 9 weeks...And ALL your children shall be taught of the Lord and great shall be the peace of your children. ~Isaiah 54:13 And when we were sent to bed rest at 15 weeks With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.~Matthew 19:27 and Ah,Lord God, Behold You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for You. ~Jeremiah 32:17 Wonderful verses to build your faith in a powerful God. But the one I heard over and over was Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him and He will do it.~ Psalm 37:4,5 Always after that my prayer would be please do not give me false hope. And when she died...I was plunged into darkness. Did I hear Him right? Was I really able to hear from God. Was I making Him up, cherry picking my verses, naming and claiming it? How does a child of God really hear from Him? I could not pick up my Bible for 9 weeks for fear I would twist it and distort it for my own purposes and because all I knew was Jesus Christ and Him crucified. BUT GOD allowed the darkness to draw His child back to the light, to show His love in immeasurable ways, to show me that the greatest thing of all is finding Him. The darkness finally lifted when He reminded me 9 weeks later of a verse He also impressed on my heart all through my bedrest...Let not your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me; In my Fathers house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.~John 14:1-3. She and all our babies were there...With Him waiting for that glorious day! So what do you do in the dark of night and in your deepest pain and when the trials just seem to never end...You look to the Savior who knows that giving you the Creator will be far more glorious than anything you could ever want. And know without a doubt that the Great Redeemer will one day wipe away every tear, fix every broken thing and restore to you the years that the locusts have eaten. Joel 2:25-27 He will give you songs in the night...Job 35:10, He will comfort you with His word, He will sing over you...Zephaniah 3:17, He will hold all your tears in a bottle, and He will bind up your broken heart...Psalm 147:3. But best of all He will give you Himself ~Philippians 3:10 So in your darkest night remember...I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to You. ~John 14:18 and there is nothing ever that could compare with getting Jesus... He will swallow up death for all time, and the Lord God will wipe away from all faces, and He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth; for the LORD has spoken. ~Isaiah 25:8
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 11:19:37 +0000
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