What mums want... from Mothers Raising Sons I think it would be fair to say that most mums don’t want much. They simply have the very reasonable wish that everything be perfect. They want their children to be healthy, and happy, and clean. Clean is actually very important to most mums. Dad’s might uncharitably think that mums might be a little too concerned with kids being clean, but then mums might rightly reply that dads are sometimes a little too negligent on that front. Mums also want their children to look nice, which is difficult if dad dresses the children because he will sometimes choose clothes which clash ridiculously. Mums are irritated by holes in the knees of trousers, and it grates them terribly that boys seem to have an almost preternatural ability to wear holes in the knees of said trousers within seconds of putting them on. Mums find it difficult to understand how holes can appear so quickly when boys seem to spend all their time running around. Nutritionally mothers have high expectations. They want boys to eat lots of fruit and vegetables, which is entirely reasonable, and indeed laudable. Mothers tend to provide morning teas for young children that are beyond reproach. Said morning teas will usually contain a good mix of minerals, vitamins, whole grains, and fresh produce. Contrast this with a typical dad morning tea which is usually anything wrapped in plastic they can grab from the cupboard: muesli bars, raisins, candles, anything. Mums want their boys to do well in school. They want their boys to do their homework gladly, and to put their all into whatever task they’re set. Because mums know how much their boys are capable of, they want their boys to achieve at the level they’re capable of. Mums want their boys to develop a good work ethic, and to come to see the value of having things organised and completed ahead of time. Socially mums want their boys to be friends with the nice boys. They do not want their boys to be friends with the bad boys. Mums particularly like their boys to buddy up with well-mannered, clean, well brought up boys. Mums like the kind of boys who say please and thankyou, and who are nice to their own mums. Mums don’t necessarily want their boys to have girlfriends, but they understand that there isn’t much they can do to stop it. As a result they want their boys to meet and form relationships with nice girls from nice families. They generally do not like tattoos and piercings. They very reasonably want their boys to treat their girlfriends with respect and courtesy. Mums also want their boys to get good jobs. They want their sons to have fulfilling careers doing the kinds of things that would make them proud. They want their boys to become decent men, upstanding members of the community who contribute and make a positive difference. Finally they want their sons to marry nice girls and have lots of grandchildren. A granddaughter would be nice. They sometimes daydream about how lovely it would be to have a little girl to take shopping and buy all the pink girly nonsense they never got to buy for their own kids. All this is very reasonable, and very normal. In fact I want all that stuff for my own boys—possibly with the exception of the healthy morning teas which I have to admit I’m a little slack about—and I’m not even a mum. I’d venture to suggest that all that stuff is what we all want for our kids, both mums and dads. Sadly, though it’s just about completely impossible. The only parents whose children achieve this degree of actual perfection are people who later discover that their children are in fact tightly buttoned serial killers. For the rest of us our kids’ lives are a little messier.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 22:58:29 +0000
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