What we need to feel is alive in body, heart, mind and Soul - in our creativity and our Spirit. We need to feel engaged, connected, and enraptured with ourselves, other people, and the world. Yet, for the most part, we remain disconnected, lost in self-preservation (note the small s) yet at what cost to the True Self? In transpersonal psychotherapy, we speak of the adapted self and the Authentic Self - a subject I delve into more deeply in chapter six on the Ego. Essentially, in order to survive, the Authentic (True) Self quickly disappears into hiding as a result of the incongruent and threatening messages being received from external sources. This survival mechanism occurs mainly in infancy or toddlerhood. What steps forward to take the place of the Authentic Self, to champion it, is the adapted self (note again the small s), also known as the unintegrated personality, ego, wounded self, historical self, wounded inner-child, etc. Nonviolent communication has a four-step process - Observing, Feeling, Needing, and Requesting: * What is it I am noticing/observing? * What is it I am I feeling? * What do I need? * What is my request? Or, when present to another enquiring in the following way; * What are you noticing/observing? * How are you feeling? * What do you most need? * What is your request? When we consciously engage in heart-to-heart communication we can ask ourselves four further questions: * How can I most appropriately acknowledge what I am noticing or observing? * How can I most appropriately respond to what I am feeling? * How can I meet a need or request? * How may I serve the highest good of all? Through such heart-centred practice, we come to understand and honour not only our own feelings and needs, but also the feelings and needs of others. Practiced regularly, this level of conscious communication can transform not only our relationships, it can revolutionise our lives. ___ An excerpt from my book - Contemporary Spirituality for an Evolving World: A Handbook for Conscious Evolution
Posted on: Wed, 30 Jul 2014 09:33:35 +0000