Whats in a cell phone... Seems rather minor when you get caught having one even though you shouldnt. So many hollow justifications as to why I need one. I need to stay connected to my family, I need one so work can call me, I need one for emergencies... All are excellent points and on the face of it, rather valid. Yet I see your relapse clearer than the stars in the sky on a cold cloudless night. I see the trade-off between what is right and what is right for you. I see the ability to easily say it is okay to do what I want since I believe its not that big of a deal. That my will is absolute and more important than that of those who are trying to help me. I see the need for immediate gratification alive and well. Quick to undue what has been worked for in favor of cutting corners. I see the old behavior alive and well summarily dismissing that purported new way of life. Its not the thing that is the undoing but the thought and action that has landed you far from where you need to be in order to succeed. We often say in the rooms no matter what it takes concerning my recovery. Yet I have witnessed the except for that one too many times to know that the countdown begins and I can only step back and pray that I am wrong. Unfortunately after dealing with my disease for so many years and then watching others who are active in theirs, I am seldom wrong. Picking and choosing what we are willing to do gives us spotty and inconsistent results. Never that solid base on which strong recovery is built. More akin to building a house on sinking sand or faulty cornerstones and construction where the builders took shortcuts. I honor someones zeal but it only goes so far in life if the actions are not consistent with the hype. Even to these ends I have been honored. Honored to see with such clarity the coming of those bitter ends. To stay humble and teachable. To do whatever it takes and understand that only out of doing things differently does change ever occur. Until then I am the same old tired thing albeit wrapped in a slightly different package... Thank you for being part of my recovery...
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 19:42:12 +0000
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