When I buy groceries, I like to make a statement. 1. Whack a - TopicsExpress



          

When I buy groceries, I like to make a statement. 1. Whack a nice young man in the head with grocery bag on peak hour bus 2. Drop phone in crotch of man #2 and awkwardly watch him scramble for it whilst conjuring a rather interesting combination of swear words and apologies, ending of course with a big and bold THANK YOU to the driver 4. Upon exiting the bus, it is imperative to break BOTH of the grocery bags you are holding and stand defeated as you watch your tomatoes roll down your street 5. For a grand finale, take the short-cut to your stair well through the back and drop your goats cheese in the pool. This my friends, is how to grocery shop. I dont know anyone else who does it quite like I do.
Posted on: Tue, 13 May 2014 09:13:07 +0000

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