When I decided I wanted to (sober up) I did not have a clue what was in store for me! It seems the nature of my problems was incurable! I learned at most I could receive a daily reprive contingent on my spiritual condition! I had no spiritual condition! Over years of ignoring and turning my face from GOD I completely lost contact altogether! My spiritual condition was all the scripture I had been exposed to but never any real heartfelt understanding! Scripture was written to make me aware of the nature of GOD and the consequences of defying him. I thought it was written for me to judge the world! His commandments are instructions just as a manual to operate an automobile! How to care for nurture and exchange unusable parts in my character! In other words to fix the selfish nature of Tim! When a person is so self absorbed as I was the truth is hidden from my soul! God did not hide anything its was me! Deep down inside I tried to run from all the things I had done, not done, thought, taken, character assinated, and more than anything contemped without investigating! No matter how much I drank or how much I used the truth did not change! I needed an overhaul! Once I read the simple literature and had time and people to discuss these things over and over again I began to see GODS commandments ( in my case 12 steps) as a wonderful way out of the miserable life I had created for myself and was able to see the wonderful magical life I had lived! I became able to forgive all I thought had harmed me and forgive myself for the ignorance of desire to retaliate! In other words my perceptions and responses to life became unentangled and things started to iron themselves out! Letting go and letting GOD doesnt mean do nothing! It means letting go of my way and giving his way a try! I never imagined he would move in so close when I invited him into my life by trying only trying mind you to get out of the way! Today I desire for my life to stand as a testament to my loving creator and would really like to see this happen for others! I hope I write clear messages and become believable so as to be somewhat effective! But the results are entirely up to GOD! Im a blessed man! Im so greatful he did not leave me in my darkest hours!
Posted on: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 09:56:04 +0000
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