When I got home from my first day of 7th grade, my mom asked me, Did you make any new friends today? It was my first day in a new school and she knew I didnt have a lot of friends in grade school. I was always just as happy by myself as I was when my best (erm, only) friend Chris and I got together once every week or two. I told her that I hadnt made any new friends and she sat me down and explained something to me. At this age, she said, making friends is pretty much all that I needed to do. Theres school and homework, but this is the time of my life where I will have the easiest time making the most friends. She told me that Id make friends through my whole life, but in later years, the friendships would never be as close - there are just too many other things getting in the way. Being young is about making friends. As I get older, Ill need to do everything in my power just to keep the ones Ive got. She finished the conversation with something similar to the following: If you dont learn how to make friends now, youre going to be pretty lonely when you get to be my age. I didnt understand what she meant at the time, and I certainly didnt realize that she was talking about herself when expressing her concerns. I did, however, start to try to figure out how to be a sociable person, and how to make friends. Those of you who remember me from back in those days probably remember some of my early awkward attempts. As I progressed through high school, I even got fairly skilled at making friends. Those of you who met me in college probably have a hard time considering the notion that I wasnt always a social person with a lot of friends around. In my mid-40s now, my Moms words at the end of my first day of 7th grade really make a lot of sense to me. In high school and college, I was surrounded by hundreds upon hundreds of potential new friends - people who I would run into almost daily. Once classes were out, maybe Id have to work a few hours or do some homework, but there was still a lot of free time - time to spend with friends. After college, we go through a phase where we still have about the same amount of time, but we are no longer surrounded by 100s of people who could be potential friends. We maintain a lot of our friendships during this time, but it takes a bit more searching in order to make new ones. Pretty soon, that phase of our lives end and some of us get families, and careers, and all the other things we do that take up all of our time. Suddenly, we find ourselves with limited ability to find new friends, and a limited ability to maintain the friendships that weve already made. I still make lots of acquaintances, but nowadays, Im lucky to make one new friend every year or two. Most of these acquaintances would probably end up being friends if we were in a different part of our lives - but as it is, were here. Lives, careers, families, kids, heck - even some of my friends have grand kids now. I know exactly what my mom was saying back then, and I am glad I took her word for it, even if I didnt understand what it really meant at the time. It takes a lot for me to get excited about something. Im very excited about tomorrow, though. I have no idea how many people are going to actually show up. There are a lot of maybes that Ive gotten, but there are also a lot of Yep!s too. (Probably 20-25 that I know of - a lot more than is reflected on the party page). Tomorrow, I am going to get to spend some time with my friends. Some of them are the oldest of friends, people Ive known and kept in touch with since high school. Some of them are friends I havent seen in a decade - or two. There are a few new friends that Ive made since I got back here to the edges of Northwest Connecticut. There are going to be friends there from just about every phase of my life. There are even some acquaintances from years gone by that I never got a chance to be close friends with - but maybe that can start to change tomorrow, as well. I cant wait to see each and every one of you, new and old, familiar and estranged by lifes responsibilities and challenges. I know a few of my friends are going to see friends that they havent seen in years. I am pretty sure that there are even a few friends of mine who know each other and dont even know that Im friends with both of them. If youre still on the fence as to whether you are going to make it out to the river tomorrow - just remember what my mom told me. As we get on with our lives, the chances to spend time with friends become fewer and farther between. The weather says no rain and a high of 80 degrees. The water level is perfect for the jacuzzi. I cant wait to see you guys.
Posted on: Fri, 18 Jul 2014 21:12:27 +0000
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