When I got married I made the supreme promise and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on my way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I caled my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way I passed by a small diner and the smell of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk I figured out that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it I had eaten three large orders of baked beans. All the way home I made sure I farted, upon my arrival my wife happy to see me, exclaimed Darling I have surprise for dinner tonight. She blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove the blindfold the telephone rang, she made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was unbearable so while my wife was on the phone I seized the opportunity shifted my weight to one leg and let one go, it was not loud but it smelled like a ferilizer trunk running over a skunk in front of the dumping site. I took a hand towel and fanned the air around. Then shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than rotten eggs keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on ripping Nagasakis and Hiroshmas for a few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with the hand towel placed it back on the table and folded my hands back feeling relieved and pleased with my self. My face must have been the pictureof innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long on the phone. She asked me if I had peeked, I assured her I did not. At this point she removed the blindfold and twelve guests seated around the table chorused Happy birthday!!!!!!
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 08:03:29 +0000
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