When I hear toxic gossip about myself, I ask God for healing and forgiveness. It is the Holy Spirits job to convict me, including all pertinent details and instructions for repentance and remediation. I asked God for whatever seed of reality Kay twisted and wrapped in hate and scorn inside each hurtful vignette. Had I been that rude and nasty? Had I so offended those people? Was my request to have something to eat after I had to give up an unswallowable breakfast so terribly unreasonable? Accused by the one whose predatory scrutiny for the opportunity to heimlich me in public lest I have any delay that *they* perceived as distress made trying to eat unpleasant and upsetting. It is a situation I intend to avoid in the future. Was it so horrible to ask for something else? Should I be arby away hungry and in disgrace because I cannot manage regular food? And each story full of venom, most with a tiny origin I recognized. God forgive me if I am this monster, not even fit for institutionalization. After all, they say, everything THEY do and say is therapeutic. I turn to Jesus. Even if I am this despicable creature you describe, child of a harlot and unknown gene donor, Jesus love is for me. Jesus forgiveness is for me. Jesus healing is for me. I was told yesterday that I needed to find a catholic priest to exorcise all the demons and unclean spirits I inherited from the harlot and her many paramours. Well, I suppose we can all use more exercise. LORD, I am listening and seeking in your WORD. I know you lead me step by step, and are changing me. Praise God.
Posted on: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 10:21:25 +0000
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