When I see the Bell Canada Let’s Talk logo, I have a good chuckle. I read that the initiative has raised $62 million to aid in the fight against the stigma that exists surrounding mental health, and those suffering with it. From my perspective, that’s a great thing. This illness, and Bell’s Let’s Talk initiative, have affected me personally and very deeply. I worked at Bell TV for ten years, until this past May 15. I had just come off short-term disability for six months after being diagnosed by several doctors for PTSD, a mental health disorder. Basically PTSD is a high-anxiety state, where anything stressful can feed on itself and just paralyze you with fear and dread. It’s just insidious. My return to work was tortuous, and I became only too familiar with what the stigma against mental health is all about. Despite ten years of great performance reviews and a good name I had built for myself over this period, it all disappeared when people found out I had been on leave for PTSD. Suddenly I was told I was “lazy” and “not wanting to work”, and everyone, from secretaries to senior management, weighed in on their “medical opinion” and felt it was OK to tell me to go see a psychiatrist, a counselor, or worse. On several occasions I received emails telling me to go to a hospital emergency ward, despite my mental health having absolutely nothing to do with the topic I was emailing about in the first place. I never thought about it before, but dealing with putdowns like this regularly begins to take on a life of its own and further drive down your spirits. I’m proud of my achievements and education, and never have been accused of being lazy or incompetent. But in the words of one manager, who couldn’t scrape together an ounce of compassion, I was “taking a spot in the employee numbers but not producing anything.” I had already been faced with losing my family doctor of almost two decades in the middle of my treatment, and shortly thereafter lost my only remaining medical support, my counselor through Bell’s EAP program. He was cut off just four days before I was fired (to save money), and I was told to go find another one myself and start over from scratch. I had been working with this man for seven months already. It was another big blow – this psychologist was excellent and was really helping me make some progress, but it seemed supporting my recovery took a back seat. Ironically, the same day a woman from the company running Bell’s EAP cut him off, she phoned my house. When I didn’t answer, she presumed I had to be committing suicide (isn’t everyone with a mental health illness doing this when they don’t answer the phone?) and called the police. You can imagine how embarrassing it was to be woken up with three police officers at my door. I guess I looked like I just crawled out of bed, as they just shook their heads and left!! When I brought this up to my department head, he just brushed it off and sarcastically asked me what I wanted him to do about it. He never did do anything, or at least anything positive. See after just two weeks back to work full-time, this same man fired me (but not before I was accused of “trespassing” by Bell’s corporate security). I still haven’t received a severance package or my ROE, and no earnings. My bank account was already severely depleted after six months of STD, and by May 31 I was forced to apply for welfare. When I brought up the issue of money and unpaid bills, this same manager told me my finances weren’t his problem and to deal with it myself. I’ve already had to postpone some debt payments, the phone is starting to ring, and I’ve put off renewing some prescriptions to save money. The job and money stress, on top of what I was already dealing with, has sent my anxiety into the stratosphere. I’m constantly on guard, and it’s exhausting. I read a report by the Mood Disorders Society of Canada, and there was one thing that has stayed etched in my mind. Sufferers of PTSD, it said, frequently reported that the stigma they faced was almost as hard to deal with as the illness itself. I wish I didn’t agree. In the past year, I’ve been challenged with PTSD, lost my doctor, my psychologist, my job, and depleted my savings, yet no one at Bell seems to care that one man’s life is in a slow motion plane crash. It actually feels like they’ve removed the seat belts and hidden the oxygen masks. I can’t imagine what my life will be like in one month. Most of the time I’m just numb. I still can’t believe I have a mental illness to begin with, much less to have been working over ten years for the one company in Canada that actually chose to use its brand to educate and reduce the prejudice that exists surrounding it. What are the odds? The gods of life are having a good laugh at my expense on this one. In my experience, the stigma against those dealing with a mental health condition is flourishing at Bell. David Nesbitt
Posted on: Sat, 20 Jul 2013 18:45:30 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015