When I was 14, we were on furlough, living with my grandparents in the Southern Tier of upstate New York. My grandfather kept his lawn and gardens in pretty immaculate shape, even though we were out in dairy country. One Saturday afternoon, I happened to look out to see a young woodchuck trying to start a burrow, right in the middle of the billiard-table-smooth lawn. I knew I had to prevent that, so I ran to the door and jumped into my well-worn Komo-Shins (Korean rubber shoes of that period. As I opened the door, I grabbed a 5-iron as a weapon, just in case he decided to put up a fight, rather than running. His eyes read, Holy Shit! as he took off running parallel to the highway and across the yard of the farmer next door, As he was running in a straight line, I figured Id really scare him away with a long chase. After I had chased him about a hundred yards, he suddenly whipped around and started charging at me! Four realizations hit me in about a tenth of a second. First, the rubber shoes I was wearing had no tread left on them. Second, the grass was still wet from a recent shower. Third, if I tried to stop or turn to avoid his charge, there was a good chance I would lose my footing, fall and slide into him. Fourth, I had seen a wood chuck literally bite the bluing off a rifle barrel. In the next tenth of a second, I realized my best (only?) alternative was to not change my pace, but to jump over his charge. Half a second later, I jumped. However, fueled by fear, I used the five iron as a polo mallet and swung down at him, catching him behind the head. Thirty feet further on, I turned enough to see him lying motionless. Coming cautiously back to him, I discovered that that single blow had probably killed him instantly. While the farmers were more than happy to see woodchucks killed (1. they eat a significant amount of hay, 2. cows can break a leg stepping into one of their hidden spy holes, and 3. one farm hand was paralyzed when he was thrown from high up on a hay wagon when one of its tires went into a large main entrance hole) in this instance I did feel bad about killing a young one who was just trying to make a home for himself.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Dec 2014 00:24:31 +0000
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