When I was a kid I was always mad at my moms. She was always busy, working or helping somebody. If there was a funeral, she was there with food, setting up, being the last to leave every night. She was the go to person for anyone, everyone in my family. She worked at 3am for decades. There was no school made lunches or breakfast a la carte. My cousins will all say this fact. Shes dope. Shes a chef, so food was always ample to make, give. She even once hosted someone elses kids bday on my bday and I was livid. I had to learn how to take care of myself, really young. I was mad, I wasnt a reg.kid I got a job at 13, two by 14. But I get it now more than ever. It was all preparation. She was there all along, teaching. I spent many years in business doing nothing for anyone but myself and those close to me. I was a frivalous spender, who was dumb, loved the grander things in life. I thought you could buy people, and you can. I came from nothing, so all of it was new to me. It was mine, i worked my ass off for it. I had a bad attitude. Im not ashamed at all to say that it wasnt until my dream life crumbled around me that I learned humility, tenacity and a lesson or two in generosity. The money I once worshipped, I stopped being a slave that world. I still work hard, but i work differently. I say this to say, im my mother now. Funny enough. I miss things, im late to things...to help people. More than 50% of my income goes to things other than myself and I dont miss it because it always comes back to me. The grind is real. I dont do what I want to do, so i can do what i should do. I secretly admired my mom all those years I was mad at her and hadnt realized when my life turned around that she was the biggest lesson to learn in my life. A teen, single, immigrant mother living in roxbury, not graduating from madison park because of me, working day and night creating a lil girl who would graduate from wellesley to make her city a better world. That shit is deep. That I just got it. There are stars in our lives we often miss to see, trying to remake more.thanks mom.
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 13:32:17 +0000
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