When I was a kid, like maybe 14, my dad took me for batting practice one day: Andy, youve been way behind the ball! Get your bat, Im going to throw you a few! Cool. I load up my bat, my dads glove and a bucket of balls. Dad, where is the L screen? (An L screen is a mesh screen that protects the pitcher from line drives but still lets him throw to the batter.) The dang thing fell apart on me again! Dont worry about it, Im just gonna throw you a bucket or two! We get to the ballpark and my dad starts throwing to me. I make solid contact. Line drive right to my dadss nuts. He falls to the ground and takes to the fetal position on the mound. SHIT! SHIT! AGHHHH! SHIT! I drop my bat and run to the mound. Dammit, are you okay, dad?! Dont swear! You got me right in the balls! Im so sorry, I didnt mean to do that! I know you didnt, youre a good kid! Why did you let me pitch to you without the L screen?! You said... AGGHHH!!! Shit. Im gonna die before Im 50! What? Go gather up the balls! Its time to go! I start to gather the balls. My dad is screaming so loud that the groundskeeper whos mowing the lawn overhears. Are you okay? Mind your own business! Im playing ball with my son! We get back in the truck. Dad, sorry about that. It was an accident. I know you didnt mean to, I feel better now. How about that nosy lawnmower asking us whats going on? He probably thought you did on purpose like some sort of sadistic pervert! That really made me mad. Theres going to be judgmental people wherever you go, wholl think the worst of you, and you just gotta tell them to mind their own business. I just think he was worried. No he wasnt, he was being a first-rate asshole. Youre still behind the ball by the way, well come back tomorrow. Should we get a new L screen? No, Im only going to throw you a bucket or two! What if I hit you with a line drive again? I hear you, well just go to a different park where that lawnmower guy wont be there.
Posted on: Thu, 15 Jan 2015 18:01:49 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015