When I was fifteen, I entered a talent contest. It was put in my a talent search company I would never have done so, but my always supportive, wonderful friend Shawndra Jones-Scanlon, pushed me to do it. I was the youngest competitor, and the only female in the group of males. I did not tell my family, because I didnt want to fail in front of them, or have them be embarrassed..,funny thing is I was usually very nervous, until I got on stage. On stage, however, is or was the only time I ever felt... Completely me. I won, the first round, and was scheduled for the final... I remember thinking, I would finally , start down the path, I had dreamed about.., to be on SNL.., to be like my Hero , Gilda Radner ... I wish this story ended with my ultimate success.. Perhaps it is wishful thinking, perhaps my way of consoling myself... But I think I would have gone on.. But typical of my life at fifteen, hell even to day, I lost courage... I got drunk.. And I got disqualified... Now I tell this story, because often, we are our own worst enemy, we let opportunities, pass, because we cannot, have faith in our own abilities..because we cannot dream big... So now, I watch SNL as a middle aged female... And think, what the Hell?! Jesus, what is the damn phone number to Loren Michaels, they absolutely need me, cause it stinks.., its like they are using a group of nerdy eight year olds.. The ones who end ever story with then they all died . comedy aint rocket science.., here I thought I couldnt do it.., give me the damn pay check, let me fix this crap.. I couldnt possibly make the show worse.... Gilda, Im sorry I let you down...
Posted on: Sun, 12 Oct 2014 14:45:28 +0000
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