When I was in Graduate School, I had a black couple come in for marital counseling. They were highly animated with very colorful language and I could tell that my white clinical supervisor was quite uncomfortable with their method of communication. She had been raised in the Midwest was not quite as familiar with how other cultures communicated. The husband would often talk about his struggles as a black man in the south and my peers didnt quite seem to understand his point of view. When he would share, our supervisor would become uneasy. One day, sensing her uneasiness, I attempted to play cultural ambassador and explain to her and the rest of my peers the plight of the African American male in the South. Ill never forget her response. Surely, you dont believe that! More than anything, that comment left me feeling as if I had failed. In my mind, I had failed to be the advocate for black marriages and families that I sought to be when I decided to become a Marriage and Family Therapist. I share this story because many times, members of this group have shared their experiences and other members have responded in ways not too different from my clinical supervisor. When we invalidate the experiences of others, we not only silence their voices, but we simultaneously forfeit the wisdom we could have gained from their experience. The Black experience is as varied as the many shades of brown that color our skin. Because of that, no one person has had THE black experience. It becomes important that we continue to provide a place where the fullness of the black experience can be expressed. This silencing of voices become particularly hurtful when it occurs in the context of our religious faith. Many well-intended ward member or neighbor have sought to ease their own discomfort with matters of race by asking us to forget that race plays a significant part in our daily life--not because we tend to focus on it, but because were continually being asked to ignore it. We cannot dismiss the fact that for a significant portion of the history of the Church, the Latter-day Saint of African decent had a far different experience than did other Latter-day Saints. We should not ignore that. At the same time, we dont have to dwell on it either. I return to the story I shared previously. Though I felt like a failure and that I had no voice, I owed it that professor and to myself to speak up. I did not attack her for her insulting response. Rather, I explained to her that her response was further evidence of the frustration we feel. Out of the ashes of those awful moment sprang a teachable moment. As much as I am saddened by the responses and comments of some people for us to build a bridge and get over it I am equally saddened by the rebuttals of some group members that, in my opinion, stoop far below what he know to be true discipleship and acceptable to the Lord. We owe it to each other to share our cultural narratives with each other and to absorb and appreciate each narrative. It is possible to enjoy a state where there [are] no more matter of -ites while also embracing the cultural diversity of a worldwide church. The beauty of this group is that each of us comes and lends our individual voices to the collective conversation about what it means to belong to the church and kingdom of God reestablished in the latter days. Our personal testimonies witness that God is no respecter of persons and that He cares for and loves each of His children. Just as we believe that God raised up Harriet Tubman and others to see our people through physical slavery, we believe that He raised up Joseph Smith to free His people from spiritual oppression resulting from the apostasy. Everything in our cultural experience denotes that there is a God. The Book of Mormon is a witness that the love and grace of God are not confined to a geographical location. So, the invitation is this: When thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 23:29:03 +0000
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