When I was young, I was someone who always tried to do whatever people asked, especially for the people I love. Not because they tried to use me. I just couldnt say no to them because I thought it would be nice if I could help them and do what they expect me to do. I didnt want to be selfish. I thought it would be great to make them happy. I was the yes man who would do what you ask, because I was the nice, kind, and helpful person, until I realised I just frustrated myself. I was once what they call people pleaser, until I decided I had to stop being one. People Pleaser A people pleaser is one of the nicest and most helpful people you know. They never say “no.” You can always count on them for a favor. In fact, they spend a great deal of time doing things for other people. (Psychology Today) I believe you all know the saying You cant please everyone. This saying is so old, yet so true. You cant really make everyone happy. The funny thing is, when you try to make everyone happy, its most likely that youre the unhappy one. I chose to be people pleaser because I thought I was just being a nice and helpful person. I was just too afraid to say no to people who asked me to do something, even when I didnt want to do it. I worried they wouldnt like me if I didnt do what they expected me to do. But now I know people pleasers are just those who have low self-esteem so they need other peoples approval. Thats why they always try to make everyone happy, because they need acceptance from others. They dont really know their values so they feel ok for other people to control them. People pleasers are just puppets who keep doing what other people ask. And thats not right. Sometimes its ok to say no. Sometimes you need to learn to say no. Maybe your intention is good. You care about people around you, so you dont want to disappoint them. Yes, its good to care about others, but you must remember that you should take care of yourself too. Also, its important to know your values and what really matters to you so its easier for you to choose which ones to say yes and which ones to say no. Roy Disney once said, its easy to make decision when you really know your values. Dont just be a people pleaser. You can never succeed to make everyone happy. Appreciate yourself. Know your self-worth and values. Know that its important to love yourself before you can love others. Its not about doing what people want you to do. Its about doing the right thing. And what if they dont like you? Thats alright. It means you stand for something. You stand for your values. Following what you want is not always selfishness. Following what other people want is not always kindness. Sometimes saying no is the right thing, even when it seems wrong.
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 05:35:05 +0000
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