When I was younger, I used to run track - I love running and I loved the idea of having a class of simply running (and winning at it). When I joined the team, the first question my coach asked me was how I was going to run in thaaat (points to my head). I said I didnt know, but Id figure it out. I quickly became the girl who ran with a long-sleeved shirt under her tank and tights under her shorts. When I ran track, I was pretty good at it. My coach worked me hard - she never let me slow down before the finish line, she made me perfect my arms and the way my toes touched the ground. I was chosen as a top long jumper, and the 400M was my race. I beat out three other girls to take a spot for the 400 at district. When I ran at district, there were several individuals on my team who werent my biggest fans. I distinctly remember being cornered under the bleachers, where my hijab was pulled down and I was smacked in the face. When I get scared, I dont talk. I didnt say a thing. When word got to the coach, she had a meeting with the girls, who probably denied it all. She called me in and asked me what happened, and I said nothing. The next day, stony-faced, she told me I owed her two miles on the field. I remember crying. When I left the track team at the end of the season, my coach wrote me a note and told me how proud she was of me for having run that year, for being strong, and for winning everything I had won. She said she hoped I had learned to stand up for myself. I left confused. When I was driving past the school this morning, I saw a few girls running the same path I had run years ago, and I recalled the feeling of defeat - of being that kid who would never win just because I was, outwardly, so different than the rest. I never understood why my coach made me run that day. When I brought it up with a friend this morning, I asked her what she thought about the situation, and why my coach punished me for something I felt I was the victim of. Simple, she said. You didnt hit back. This hasnt left my mind all day.
Posted on: Thu, 14 Nov 2013 02:58:40 +0000
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