When Rowen was born and he was SO grouchy and was screaming and crying all the time, and he just couldnt sit still or be at peace, nor let me sit still or be at peace, I used to occasionally look around and see these calm, cheerful, peaceful babies and think, Why, God? WHY????? Why cant our child be that easy and happy??? Well, in India they say God does answer all prayers. It just might take awhile (and because they believe in reincarnation, it can take a LOOONG while -like 15 lives from now or something.) But I didnt have to wait that long. Not only did Rowen grow out of his early grumpy phase, but Clara was born as peaceful and calm a baby as any you could ever find. AND shes one of those laughing babies I occasionally saw on Youtube. And to top it all off shes a daddys girl. Where Rowen didnt like me or really connect with me until more than a year after he was born, Clara has been totally into me for at least the last six months. Most of the time when I enter the room she screams if I dont come pick her up. But once I pick her up shes totally chill. She doesnt need anything from me except just to be next to me. She will even dive out of Keeshas arms for me. Sometimes when Keesha comes to taker from me she will push Keeshas away. Its so WEIRD to be this popular! Maybe she feels the same quiet current of love flowing through her that I feel when I hold her? I think so... I think its that silent, nurturing connection with me that she wants... Its so awesome. And Claras affection for me doesnt change constantly like Rowens did. When Rowen started liking me and showing affection for me, it always changed week to week. One week he was close to me and the next week I was chopped liver again, and I could never figure out why! I could never detect what had caused the change in his feelings for me. His affection for me really only became constant after Clara was born... But Claras affection for me has remained constant month after month, except for a week or so after an incredibly rare moment when I became frustrated with her screaming about something and spoke sternly to her. And thats another difference. I used to be highly annoyed with Rowen more times in one day than I have been with Clara in her whole life so far -almost a year... So heres a short video that shows a lot about our current family dynamic. As you can see in the video, Rowen is no longer so grouchy, but he didnt exactly grow up to be a calm little guy. One word Ive started to use to describe him is activator. Hes an activator. Wherever he goes he wants to wake the energy up, speed it up, and he wants everyone to go there with him. Its really fun when Im in the mood, and it can be rather annoying when Im not in the mood. It can also be a little stressful for me, as you will see at the end of the video, when hes spazzing out with this balloon that he took from a display. Hes making Clara laugh and Im laughing too, but the whole time Im also on edge that hes going to pop the balloon (which isnt his) or it is going to float away, or hes going to smash into some old lady picking up her prescription as he flails around, or hes going to knock over a shelf full of bottles, or all of the above. At the end you will see me trying to figure out how to tell him to just tone it down a little, to just be a little more aware of his surroundings... I dont really have a good way of telling him that, that he appears to hear. His energy is just to strong and relentless. He doesnt know how to turn it down yet... I used to worry that I would love one of them more than the other. At this point I think this is impossible. They are both so incredibly dear to me. I love them both so much. Clara is a lot easier for me at this point, but that doesnt affect my love for them. And Rowen is just so much fun when Im in the mood to go there with him. Anyway, here is my crazed entertainer boy and my laughing little girl... :)
Posted on: Tue, 23 Sep 2014 23:21:38 +0000
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