When a family member publicly sins and causes great chaos within the larger family, it is the responsibility of the entire family to work together for the good of the transgressor. However, what often happens is that some decide that sitting on the same side of the table as the violator of trust and truth somehow defines their allegiance and helps greatly the psyche of the wrongdoer. That in portraying a willingness to embody forgiveness through proximity, the road to perdition is averted and normal life is soon to return. But what is meant as a genuine and noble gesture begins to mess with the right/wrong meter in a less than good-willed manipulator. The perpetrator will deflect, rationalize and even through grenades at other family members because they have been buoyed, bolstered, and emboldened by the seemingly good-spirited individuals that offer to stand with, protect, and defend. As I search God’s Word for a precedent in this regard, I am unable to locate one teaching that directly correlates to greater love, care, compassion, and defense of the victimizer than is shown to the victim of chaos caused by the seriously sinful. It does not mean that love, care, and compassion are not to be shown and afforded to everyone, but mistakenly believing that the way back home lies in feelings, gestures, and avoidance of the necessary conversations and truth is foolish and prolongs the agony experienced by the rest of the family members. This is personal to me as I have a family member that deserves to go to prison for an extended period of time. I do not want this to happen and pray daily that God makes a way for this to be avoided. But I also realize that willful disobedience to God’s Word and a seemingly unwilling desire to fully acknowledge sinful behavior that has caused destruction and mayhem throughout a family draws consequences that are now in the hands of others including law enforcement, attorneys, and judges. The shame is that while others could provide wise counsel and continue to stand with a loved one at the same time, a formation of bunkers have been dug and after years of manipulative and dishonest behavior, the table has been set for what appears to be the breaking apart of what once was a functional dysfunctional family. May God break what needs to be broken, tear what needs to be torn, and allow a reaping of what has been sewn. And then, maybe, healing can occur between those that choose to lay down arms instead of standing ready to fight. Seriously Saddened, JB
Posted on: Tue, 05 Nov 2013 22:53:48 +0000