When learning embalming at home, I recommend using those nitwits that still - after its amazing run of incompetence, stupidity and lawlessness - support the current regime. 1. They are already brain dead, they dont feel pain, well, except your pain, but thats not relevant. 2. They do plead and beg a bit, but, being the wimpy little pussies that they are, can easily be controlled with a Chloroform soaked rag, they have been taught to just give in. 3. They already have huge veins and arteries which makes the first time with the trocar so much easier - this is caused by years of self righteous indignation induced high blood pressure. 4. They are usually either malnourished from years of smug vegetarianism or grossly obese from decades of fast food and Twinkies - either is good practice that presents unique challenges. 5. Since many of them are already supported by the Government, you can get reimbursed by filling out a few forms. 6. You can use up whatever is left on their EBT cards to buy more embalming fluid, hair spray, cigarettes and beer for your friends. 7. Their obamacare cards can also be used to get your dog top quality vet care and a free heartworm check. 8. You get to use a spatula to apply makeup, much the same way Hilary puts hers on. 9. Their I.D.s can be used to buy assault rifles that you can ship, via Holders Fast and Furious Express, to Mexico. 10. Once you are finished, they make great lawn decor for Halloween.
Posted on: Thu, 17 Apr 2014 02:56:37 +0000