When we first met, I honestly had no idea that you would be this important to me. I really hope I’m good enough for you; at times I feel otherwise. This has been a recent feeling. . that honestly petrifies me. I begin to think that you’ll find somebody else who is “sufficient”. Someone who can give you everything and anything your heart desires, someone much better than I. Maybe I’m scared to lose you because you mean more to me than any other person. You seriously are everything I think about, & everything I want. . I’m sorry I constantly want to speak to you, but can’t. I’m sorry that when you take a long time to write back, I get upset. I’m sorry I have a short temper, I’m working on it. I’m sorry I annoy you, I sincerely don’t mean to. I’m sorry if I’m not a perfect partner, but even perfection has its flaws. I’m sorry if I say things that stress you out or make you mad, that’s the last thing I’d like to do. I’m sorry if you don’t want to talk to me as badly as I’d like to speak to you. I’m sorry that we have opposing thoughts on how couples should act. I’m sorry if I think about you all the time and you don’t think much about me. I’m sorry I say hurtful things when I’m not at my highest peak. Saying sorry won’t fix much, but acknowledging my problems will. When I write things out I think more clearly about the situation. & I realize what exactly I can do to grow and contribute in fixing my issues. But in the end I just want somebody who I can open up to and be myself without feeling uncomfortable. I’m a complete and utter mess, so I just want someone who actually understands me & won’t mind my random rants. I want someone who treats me like I’m special even though we both know I’m not. To tell you the truth, I don’t have much to offer you. But I still will give you everything I have, even if it’s hardly anything at all to you. I will give you: loyalty, laughter, honesty, long hugs, back rubs, my point of view, support, a good conversation, a hand to hold, someone who will always be there to listen, but most importantly LOVE. & if that’s not enough, just keep in mind you’ve got all of me. I just hope that’s enough to keep you around. I, at times wonder if you ever think of me, if you ever miss me. I shouldn’t have to ask you, & I shouldn’t have to wonder. You’re my boyfriend, you’re not just some random guy I kiss and fantasize about all hours of the day. A girlfriend should never be left feeling like this and having these thoughts. It just sucks to feel unwanted We had this entire conversation. The night I came over, the night you proposed me to be your girlfriend once again. You told me you would try to work this out. & I’ve seen very minimal effort. ( Thank you so much for the effort that you have put into this. I really do appreciate it. ) My thing is just that, I never leave you wondering if I miss you. I never leave you wondering how much I love you. . Now where is that mutual compassion and understanding from you? Right now, the only thing I’m certain about is that I love you. & I doubt that’s enough for you at the moment. . I’m just afraid that one day you will wake up and just say “I can do much better than her”. . but I promise you, as long as you’re trying, I’m staying. It’s not about having a picture perfect relationship. It’s about finding someone who will be there through everything. . without giving up. & I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it. . I haven’t wanted something this bad in so long. . I can’t just let this get away without fighting to have it and keep it. I don’t want to let go of you. I just don’t. Love isn’t about whom you can see yourself with. It’s about who you can’t picture yourself without....!!! I Love you man.. !!!!!
Posted on: Tue, 09 Dec 2014 04:54:12 +0000
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