Whew. Talk about one step forward and three steps back. I was doing great yesterday morning and then started coughing and coughing and coughing in the afternoon. I coughed so hard and for so long that my ribs hurt so bad I didn’t know what to do with myself. So, last night I ended up taking a codeine which I hadn’t done since last week-end. I couldn’t even sit here at the computer they hurt so much. I’m thinking about what my physical therapist told me that simply did not come to mind yesterday. She said when I feel good not to do anything, because I’ll over do, and if my ass is dragging, do as much as I can, which won’t be that much. Sure enough, yesterday morning I felt really good so I did my three walks around the yard, without oxygen, and then did some dead heading (cutting off dead flowers) on my rose bushes. I did a lot of eeeeing and ahhhhing and my leg and ankle exercises and all my breathing excercises. And, I even washed a load of clothes. It’s looking to me like I actually shot my own self in the foot. I’ll have to heed her words the next time I feel really good - which is not today! Still draggin’ but I had a couple of Barnes and Noble coupons so Jim suggest we go to B&N then go to Johnny Rockets and have half a hamburger each. I agreed, IF we had them add an extra patty so I’d have the full meat content and only half the bun carbs. And, we shared a salad. Seems to have worked since I got no big sugar spike after dinner. Yea! I got a book I’ve been wanting even before it came out, Carl Hiaasen’s Bad Monkey. I haven’t been able to read a fiction book since I got home. Can’t concentrate on the plot. Maybe now? He makes me laugh. And, I wore a bra. Yes, ouch. However I did discover something by paying attention when I was putting it on. I’ve lost about 20 pounds and haven’t been able to figure out where since my stomach is still so swollen. Now I know. Dammit! I gained five pounds a month for 16 months when I first got clean. I was also becoming empowered by being able to do the work for MA that I had experience with. Somewhere my sick mind decided that the extra pounds represented the extra self respect I was gaining. I really haven’t wanted to loose the weight. I don’t have much choice now, do I? Hope I don’t loose the self respect too. Ah here comes my barge. Hot digity. Someone sure cleaned her up. Yes, I’m doing what I have to each day, but things that are out in the future that I’d rather not dwell on? For those I get on the barge and float down de Nile. It’s not really denial, just not looking. And here comes my Nubian guard now. So I’m reaching for my Thai ice tea and purple plums as we start down de Nile.
Posted on: Sat, 10 Aug 2013 04:57:39 +0000
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