Who I Miss this Thanksgiving My first homesick moment, after moving 3000 miles from OR to NC in 2003, hit me in a grocery aisle at Harris Teeter. Making Thanksgiving dinner, for just us four, John, Molly, Chloe and myself, was easy. I LOVE to cook on Thanksgiving. Suddenly I found myself in a panic. . Because, Thanksgiving, in this ‘new world’, had to be EVERY EXACT TRADITIONAL RECIPE WE WERE USED TO IN OREGON. And the build up of not admitting how much I missed my family was about to reach a sneaky boil-over. I couldn’t find Kraft “Spread” in a jar. This cream-cheese appetizer goo comes in a small glass jar, in flavors like ‘Chive Herb’, ‘Green Onion’, or ‘Pineapple’. It is slimy, white or pale peach with limp flecks of color or pale yellow bits o’ fruit. And in our family, you spent a lot of time spreading it onto celery sticks. Which were actually quite yummy. These Boats o’ Kraft graced the ‘Relish Plate’ along with black olives (finger puppets at the kid table), baby pickles, radishes, and plain celery. Oh, and green onions. This part of the meal was HUGE in my psyche, so I walked all 12 shopping aisles, more than once. I enlisted the help of a box boy and a manager, called my Mom in Oregon, all to no avail. There would be no Kraft ‘Spread’ stuffed celery this Thanksgiving. I suddenly profoundly missed Oregon and my family. Fast-forward to this week’s Thanksgiving, our 11th in Charlotte. For the past several years our ‘family’ grew to include Ken and Janelle Hayes, our former next-door neighbors and dear friends. At some point we started spending every Turkey Day next door at their house and they started spending Christmas Eve and Christmas at ours. It became tradition. One amazing year, my parents visiting, we debuted the ultrasound pic of our fourth child brewing. Quite vivid memories of Ken insisting he saw ‘male equipment’ in the picture. A statement he repeated every day for the next six months. Like always, he was right. Holiday recipes changed, traditions shifted, and a new feeling of ‘being home’ settled in. Looking back now I realize it wasn’t these new Thanksgiving details that became comfortably familiar. It was the ease of enjoyment you have spending holidays with those closest to you. And, what I am going to miss the most this year is the new ‘extended’ family we grew to love. It goes without saying that Janelle tops the ‘miss’ list, as she always will. Ken I will miss in ways so specific: The schedule. The plan. The apron. The hugs. Ian and Britt as well, though I bump into Ian often, and Britt and I have cookie plans for December. They are close family. And we are so blessed. I will miss getting in Ken’s way in the kitchen. Watching Nora and Hayden play with Ian, whose patience with them bought me precious ‘arms-free’ time. Talking with Janelle and Britt about who-would-be-where-what-night on the 24th and 25th of December. It will ache this year, missing these four. However we see Ken, Ian and Britt when we want. This year, the big hole missing will be the rest of the Hayes clan, those who traveled each year from Los Angeles and Florida and the Mid-West, and who we grew to love; Ken’s charming and fun Mom, Evelyn, and three big sisters – Janis, Kris, and Lynne. And profoundly, his brother in law Mike, lost this year to cancer. One of the bravest and most interesting men I have met in my lifetime. Somehow this ‘extended’ Hayes family became our comfort. Our Thanksgiving tradition. Those people you share a bond with, but only see once a year. Those close people you look forward to re-connecting with as family. I will miss comparing notes with Kris about teenagers, discussing the deep subjects inside faith and politics with Janice, and watching my daughters flock, moths to a flame, to Lynne. She is an amazing high school literature teacher. Sort of to our girls like how Yoda would rate with a Jedi. I will miss those moments over the jig saw puzzles, the third cup of decaf and ‘oh I want to try this too’ dessert, and the long conversations about any number of things. Catching up, sharing life stories, enjoying all that Thanksgiving means among people who love each other. Thursday is just five days away. This year we will give thanks in our home, John and the kids and I, and one or two close friends also finding themselves far away from ‘home’. I will be cooking the turkey for the first time in years. It will be a special day, all four chicks in the nest. We know new traditions will become tomorrow’s warm comfort. However, at some particular moment, I know to expect that sharp pang of homesick. This time, I will be missing the Hayes family, both near and far. And my heart will be with each of you.
Posted on: Sun, 24 Nov 2013 07:28:28 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015