Why I hate snakes. when I was 3-5 I had a cousin that used to chase me with snakes, I didnt know they couldnt hurt me, all I knew was that they looked like they could. Also when I was 5-6 my sister Madge and one of her boyfriends took me with them to Cow Pond, the local swimming/make out spot in Seville, Fl. I went into my usual act to extort money from her boyfriend, so I started the usual Madge and Brad sitting in a tree Kissing song, when that didnt work, I gave it my best shot this one always worked, Madge has cooties, Madge has cooties..yep that one got me a ride on his shoulders to the dock floating in the pond. Now to a 5-6 year old that thing might as well have been in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. And of course there are snakes and gators in that pond and I had a water moccasin that was swimming around the dock, I am sure I got Madge in trouble when we got home, because I remember telling them that I was going to tell on them if they didnt come get me off that dock. They just laughed at me and went back to making out, So yeah, I am sure I told on them. Again when I was 6 I came home from school and walked onto our full length porch, half way to the front door I heard a loud hissing and a real loud popping noise, I looked to my right and saw this very angry snake coming across the floor at a very fast pace, his head high in the air, hissing and mouth open, his tail was popping back and fourth, now I know that it was a coach whip snake, I didnt know that then but I did know that if it got to me I was going to be in trouble so I bolted for the door, I barley made it in the house as he struck and hit the closing door, I didnt bother going back on the porch, it was all his. Then when I was 14 the hurricane came and sunk my boat and pushed it under the dock on the St. Johns River. so I waded under there to bail it out, as I was busy getting the water out I felt something hit my leg, a cottonmouth moccasin was wrapped around my leg and coming to the surface fast, mouth wide open, I knew he was going to bite me as soon as he broke the surface of the water, so I reached behind his head and grabbed him, he went flying one way and I jumped in the boat and finished bailing from inside. Then at the same dock on another day I went to use the restroom and as soon as I closed the door, another teed off snake came rushing at me, this time it was a black snake, dont let anyone tell you they dont bite, that sucker was after me, I gave him the restroom, I dont even remember opening the door. One day my cousin Leston Smith and I were chasing horses on Nine Mile and running through the woods I forgot the saftey rules and jumped over a log, as soon as my feet hit the ground I froze, I knew that I had landed on a rattlesnake, sure enough I had one foot right behind his head and pinned down, I got Leston to grab my hand and jerk me back over the log. Another time I was bass fishing on the bank in Inverness , Fl. and had a premonition that something bad was fixing to happen to me, I looked around very slowly to my right and yep there he was, another cottonmouth coiled up with his mouth wide open, as he struck I pushed my rod under my arm and luckily put it right in his mouth, he got to keep the rod and reel. Then one day I was picking up limbs and stuff out of a fern patch at the Junction. I reached down and picked up a real thick stick, as I straightened up I could see that I had picked up a rattlesnake, he became another flying snake, after they found and killed it, he measure 5 foot 6 inches. that was a big snake and he never made a sound or moved, I had picked him up in the middle of his body , dont know how I didnt get bit that day. there have been other minor run ins with snakes since this, but now I just call my wife and turn her loose with a shovel. I yell she comes running I hand her the shovel or hoe and point, she starts screaming Oh my God its a snake and then she lets loose and looks like a weed wacker gone wild, I just wish I knew when this was going to happen in advance so I could get the popcorn and coke ready . sit down and watch the show..So if you have a snake and would like to keep it I suggest you dont bring it around me for any reason, I am sure you can understand my feelings after reading this.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 23:51:04 +0000