Why Moving In Together Before Marriage May Hurt More Than it Helps! share this article! Let me tell you a little about my at home habits. Sometimes I don’t close the dresser drawers all the way when I get something out of them. Sometimes…well most of the time… I step out of my clothes on the bathroom floor and I leave them there. After the gym I forget to put my sweaty clothes in the hamper. There’s more but I think you can see where I’m going with this. one of my friends have been married for a year and living together about 6 months and they are still learning how to live together. So guess what….as this progress rolls on they re making changes slowly but surely and she is accepting certain things slowly but surely. The truth of the matter, though, is that even if they lived together before marriage and did these same things they still would have gotten married, which is why I believe the necessity to “shack up” before marriage is a cop out. Follow me and I will tell you my thoughts! “We need to see what it’s like to live together first before we get married.” Survey says….FALSE! In so many relationships you see this reasoning along with: “we can save money” or “we are pretty much together anyway.” Wait what about this one… ”well we have talked about marriage” & finally this last one that goes like this… “marriage isn’t anything but a piece of paper anyway!” NEWS FLASH People: Shacking up isn’t a requirement before marriage, but being willing to commit and being selfless enough to LEARN to live together is. Saving money isn’t a reason to move in with someone who you don’t even know is serious about building a future with you. Spending the night with your boyfriend or girlfriend is totally different from living with your husband or wife. Talking about marriage isn’t what gets you married, getting engaged and getting married is what gets you married. Oh and finally marriage is far bigger than a piece of paper, it’s a next level commitment where you take vows in front to God, friends, family and loved ones and you ready yourselves to build a family. Okay, now that that’s out of the way and some folks are a little offended, let me explain. There are so many people who desire to be married, but instead they take the consolation prize of living together. They become roommates and then begin to play house and 5 years later they look back and ask “what happened?” She ends up playing the role of wife and many times mother, but never got the next level commitment she really wanted. He ends up being cool with the situation and realizing he already has all the benefits of having a wife without ever having to officially make her one. Not to mention if someone leaves it only involves packing a few boxes… no dividing up assets, no deciding visitation, no legal fees because you aren’t married. He gets all he wants, but she never gets the security she desires and instead of cutting her losses she just holds on to hope. They break up to make up, he comes and goes as he pleases, and always threatens to leave because he can! It’s 5 years in and she is still waiting on a ring and grows resentful because all of the “talking about marriage” never manifested into anything but being roommates. Not to mention the kids are starting to wonder how come Mommy and Daddy aren’t married. How come he comes and goes as he pleases? What do “Husband” and “Wife” really look like….and the cycle continues. I GET IT….marriage isn’t for everyone, so if it isn’t for you then this article isn’t for you. My point is that if two people truly desire the next level commitment and truly intend to be dedicated and committed for the long run then living together isn’t a prerequisite. If your desire is to move from boyfriend or girlfriend to fiance don’t think that shacking up will get you closer because in reality it might just push you further away. Choose wisely my friends! Becky Family get involved in the conversation: What do you think about cohabitation before marriage? Click here to like my page Becky Nnanna
Posted on: Mon, 19 Aug 2013 08:49:56 +0000
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