Why and How the Would I Date Me series came about. >>Read My Story Below>> In 2008, I made a decision to go back to something and someone that I felt was deserving of my time and heart. During the course of our relationship, he did EVERY, I mean EVERYTHING, that led me to believe; he was and would forever remain my soul mate. We got engaged and wed in 2009. Though it was a short courtship and engagement, for me, time was not an issue. It was so much more than time, it were as though our souls were destined to be one (as in the union of marriage defines), and so we became ONE. The honeymoon was something out of a story book- almost unreal, but that was the way our love flowed. IT just flowed. After the honeymoon, my then husbands Representative was unable to live up to his part of our binding contract. For him, he won, he had his prize. Now after the wedding and honeymoon, the true person reared his head. After month three, the verbal abuse was introduced to our relationship. He became someone that I did not know, someone who was extraterrestrial. I must admit, I cannot pretend that I did not make excuses for his behavior. We put up the front in front of our friends, family, and the spiritual institutional members that we associated with every Sunday. (We met in Church in 1999 and remained friends throughout the years). I kept a tight lips as to what went on behind close doors. Who was I kidding, we looked good on paper you know, we made sense. Or so, I convinced myself. He was my type in so many ways. Smart, handsome, muscular physique, well-dressed, well-mannered, family-oriented, and loving. I had a prize in my eyes and in the eyes of our peers. I cared more about the image, than the turmoil going in my relationship. Yes, me, that was me but I had to come to my senses. I could go on about that marriage/relationship but I will let you read more on my website: khemekab. The truth is, I had to take control of my life and remove myself from something that was hardening my beautiful soul and heart. I shared a piece of me, in hopes you will realize that being transparent isnt something to frown upon. After that relationship, I became a voice to my friends who were going to similar or knew someone going through a similar situation. I shared my story with women who had gone through Domestic Violence because domestic violence is not always physical. I was invited to speak before a room of women, who had been victorious to walk away from unhealthy relationships. If youve gone through any form of domestic violence, you know it starts with verbal abuse and it quickly escalates; it always escalates. Oh yea, it was physical in our household and I did fight back. However, I choose to be victorious instead of remaining a victim; I was not powerless but powerful! Khemeka B was reborn on March 29th, 2011 (official divorce date) and the woman you have grown to like, love, or cordially respect; became a voice. I am a fighter and determined to ensure that the voice of men and women are heard. Women, we tend to bring what we experienced in our past relationships into our new. Stop it!! I cannot stress it enough, just because Joe (random name) or Michael (another, random name), brought about the pain, does not give you the right to make an INNOCENT person suffer for someones wrong doing. I almost became the person that I hated but I decided to give myself time to be with myself. I learned during that time, how to heal and mourn my relationship with my husband and others in the past. I consider myself a relationship adviser (working on my counseling certification), who speaks and writes in a neutral arena for men and women. I will continue to speak from a place of experience, knowledge, whilst; empowering those who will allow me to uplift you along the way. My life is a story meant for television but most of us have similar stories. Would I Date Me, was a question I asked myself after my divorce. I had to stop and ask myself that question over and over. The answer was No, because at that time, I was hurting and angry. I was in no shape or form, ready to give of myself emotionally, mentally, or physically to anyone. I needed time to learn about myself and work on breaking old habits and creating healthy habits. We all want a partner but before you seek one, as yourself; Would I Date Me? Why or Why Not? Am I ready for that kind of commitment? Am I ready? If the answer is No, dont be alarm, you and so many others are in the same situation. If you are married, or in a committed relationship, ask yourself that questions. Dont be arrogant and say, I am married/engaged, ofcourse, I would date me. Honestly speaking, a majority of my married friends are not happy. They are not happy, not because their mates arent great people. Sometimes, we marry for companionship. When in all honesty, you really are just afraid of being alone. The marrieds that are happy, they go through their share of ups and downs. I will have a married couple on the panel on that day that will share how they keep the relationship alive and fresh. Please join me at my event on Saturday, January 17th at Bed-Vyne Brew. My goal is to help build skills for communicating, understanding and accepting difference, and expressing any uncomfortable emotions; and solving problems in your current or potential partners. Youd be cockamamy to miss this event; register today. https://eventbrite/e/conversation-with-khemeka-b-would-i-date-me-series-tickets-13680094531 See you there, Khemeka B Please share this post if you are compelled to do so
Posted on: Wed, 07 Jan 2015 19:08:00 +0000
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