Why does nothing ever meet expectations? Its like life is about going from one disappointment to the next. And its all so god damned boring. Is there nothing to actually look forward to? I never use phrases like I cant wait for... anymore. If anything, life has given me many reasons to dread whats to come. Excited anticipation? Not for me. I feel like an inmate whos on death row just sitting here waiting for the inevitable. But life is at the very least, consistent, in that it never fails to disappoint... At disappointing... Hell is a reality defined by longing for an end only for it to never come. I suppose that if death is as disappointing as life then it should be equally undesirable, though it does have a certain appeal. Nihilistic enlightenment is without charm or beauty but is the ultimate philosophical pursuit. However what value is there in living a purposeless life, filled with disdain for all of those around you and a vile contempt for all of mankind? For the sake of intellectual integrity? Do I curse the day I was born for being juxtaposed in a world of parasites or do I curse the world for being what others describe as natural? Exemplary minds have no place in this reality. We are the product of fools and suffer fools daily. And worst of all, I am hindered by the same constricting perceptual limitations as any other with vision narrowed to but fragments of what we identify as truth. The extent of which, even if I had the power of God I still wouldnt even know where to begin in righting the wrongs of the universe. Everything is a giant mess, lacking any order or design and Im getting an headache just thinking about it all...
Posted on: Wed, 07 Jan 2015 00:49:45 +0000
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