Wikileaks: McDonalds Informed On Eurosceptics To Fix 2014 World Cup CARACAS, VENEZUELA - From sanctuary in Venezuela, Wikileaks has delivered yet another revelation deeply embarrassing to the worlds rich and powerful: the conglomerate that owns the McDonalds fast food chain apparently shared recordings of suspected Eurosceptic activists ordering at fast food restaurants with Interpol, the ECB and other authorities. On 23 May, VP of McDonalds France, Jean-Pierre LeCun, sent a memo to McDonalds CEO Donald Thompson describing his napkin math about the cost of redeeming vouchers for free drinks and burgers for customers who properly guessed the outcome of the World Cup series. If five percent of our customers win a prize, and half of them redeem their tickets, we would be compelled to disburse well over a million cheeseburgers and drinks to football fans liable to cause disproportionate shrinkage, wrote Mr LeCun. We cannot easily default on this commitment without serious damage to our community relations... A series of subsequent memos revealed McDonalds efforts to lobby behind the scenes for European national teams to be disqualified in favor of an all-European soccer team, using the Soviet Union as a precedent. Until its dissolution in 1991, the USSR fielded only one team to the World Cup and Olympics, in spite of demands by many of its fifteen member-republics to be permitted to field their own teams. This is the smoking gun, said Wikileaker LeekMasta over Skype. We have incontrovertible evidence that McDonalds conspired with bankers to change the outcome of the World Cup in their favor, just so they could cheat the worlds poorest and most desperate - McDonalds diners - out of their burger and fries. Bonuses were paid to associates who publicly made statements in favor of Team Euro, debit cards loaded with a few hundred to a few thousand Euro were passed to members of the media and various foreign services, and members of the World Cup qualification committee were given Golden Arches Lifetime cards made of 24k gold for them and their families, in an effort to pressure key officials into supporting an all-European soccer team that would change the outcome of the World Cup to save McDonalds millions and millions on winning-ticket redemptions. The 24k cards are a nice touch, wrote Mr Thompson in a leaked email dated 29 May. Most of those b****s will probably sell or hoard them the gold cards. See if we can get our friends at IP [Interpol] to burgle the cards back. Most controversial was McDonalds recording not only the voice and likenesses of Eurosceptics - ranging from local politicians in France and the Low Countries to black-hat anarchists - but also their preferred meals. McDonalds managers should be instructed to look out for customers ordering a cheeseburger without the burger - these are almost always left-wing activists. Any such customers should be identified, put on the Orange List and referred to IP and SM [senior management], wrote McDonalds COO Tim Fenton in an email to regional managers that same day. This is a classic case of McDonalds abusing its power to oppress the people and destroy all that is good in the world - Mom-And-Pop burger restaurants, local communities and now beloved national football teams, wrote Eurosceptic columnist Paulson Jones. McDonalds should be made to give free burgers and drinks to any football fans who actually eat their tasteless meals. McDonalds continues to stick to its guns in the face of a developing public relations outcry. We here at McDonalds are big soccer fans, said McDonalds spokeswoman Sophie Sophism. The 1919 Black Sox scandal was a big deal in its time, but in the long run it became a part of the proud heritage of the sport. Were in favor of anything that enhances the condition of the game, and that includes a European Dream Team. I mean, if If it were a bad idea, no one would watch the American basketball team at the Olympics. The Associated Press contributed to this report.
Posted on: Thu, 26 Jun 2014 00:42:49 +0000
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