Will You Run Out of Time to Reconnect? #tracysomerville #CelebrateLife Walking around the video store was one of our favourite activities. We’d often make a couple loops around the store, arguing about which movies to watch, or giving our very enlightened “it sucked” reviews about movies we had already seen. It was our way of relaxing after a long week of studying and writing term papers. This is a picture of my friend Tracy and me on our university graduation day. (Shout out to 1997 style, ‘yo!) We had worked hard and earned our Bachelor of Commerce degree together. And we were very proud of ourselves! Tracy passed away two weeks ago. It was sudden and a complete shock to everyone. She passed away at home alone of unknown causes… yes, “unknown” is what was on the coroner’s report. She was healthy and only 45 years old. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Through university, we always seemed to be together. Maybe it was because we shared the same name – and since she was older than me, she always reminded me that she had it first. And for that I often called her “Tiny”, which of course she hated since she was barely 5 feet tall. :) For years after university, I considered her one of my very best friends. We would get together as often as possible, and chatted on the phone almost every day. But as we grew older and moved on with life, we drifted apart. I actually haven’t spoken with Tracy for 8 years. I often thought of her though and wondered how she was doing. So just a month prior to her death, I found her on Facebook and thought about reconnecting. But I didn’t. I attended her funeral last weekend. The memories came flooding back to me, especially when I saw her family who I hadn’t seen in years. There were so many wonderful memories. Then as the eulogy was read, I realized that we had simply become very different people. There was a huge sense of closure by attending the funeral. I shed many tears – not for the Tracy of today, but for the Tracy I remember, with whom I shared many pivotal life moments. The funeral allowed me to let go of unlikely possibilities while holding onto actual memories. This experience has reminded me of three important things: 1. Tell the people in your life that you love them. Do it now. If you stop reading my post to go do it, I won’t be offended. Pick up the phone, email, text, knock on their door… whatever. Just make it happen. You just don’t know when your time, or their time, will end on this earth. Share that love while they are here to enjoy it. 2. Trust your instincts. There was some force or reason that kept me from contacting my old friend. I realize now that it was because we had become two different people, and any contact in the present would only taint the good memories I hold. Trust your gut. 3. We can only do our best with what we know at the time. After Tracy’s death, I spent a week beating myself up for not contacting her. “If I had only known” went through my head a lot. But there was no way of knowing. And it is simply pointless to carry guilt for what can only be known in hindsight. So I repeat, we can only do our best with what we know at the time. And so to my old friend Tracy, I say thank you for being in my life, even if it was only for a short time. I hope you have found peace. Maybe we’ll meet again on the other side. :) The post Will You Run Out of Time to Reconnect? appeared first on Tracy Somerville, Photographer.
Posted on: Thu, 03 Jul 2014 13:33:47 +0000