Winner of the Macys Memory Author/Blogger category Charlotte Nall collecting her award... Charlotte says In July while checking through the charities emails I stumbled across a notification that I had been nominated for a Butterfly Award. I couldn’t believe it! I’d heard of the Butterfly Awards via Facebook, but having read the stories of the nominees and recipients I had never thought I could even be considered worthy enough to be nominated. Over the past two years many charities, organisations, blogs and writings of families and individuals have helped to carry us through the hardest journey I had ever been on…the loss of our son, Micah. Their stories were heart breaking and the work they had done and still do was remarkable. Our little organisation had only begun a year before the nomination was announced, and had only really began to take shape once 100 large brown boxes, laden with books had arrived on our doorstep in March 2014. To me the work I was doing by simply writing down my thoughts, putting them together with a directory of resources was just a drop in the ocean of what so many others were doing, so to say that the nomination came as a great surprise is an understatement! I was so thrilled and touched that Lisa had taken her own time to write such a heart touching nomination about us. Just to know, in one person’s words, that our story had helped her in some small way was incredible and truly all I wanted to do. After glamming up for the evening (what girl doesn’t like an excuse to put on a nice dress, have her hair and nails done?) we headed over to the Chesford Grange, which isn’t far from where we live. I had taken along some family and friends and we went with the intention to dance, have fun, network and meet others who had shared our same journey and cry a few tears… I certainly didn’t expect what was in store for me. Not long after arriving a lovely lady was introduced to me. She presented me with the most stunning bouquet of flowers telling me she had brought them because she wanted to tell me how much the book had helped her through the first 48 hours after her loss. You can’t put those kinds of feelings into words – I felt so touched & humbled, I don’t know how your head can even process that kind of emotion. Knowing you’re deepest of pain has helped others and help guide them through their darkness is truly an unbelievable feeling. We then settled down to eat and listen to the awards ceremony. Every speech was moving and inspiring, yet heart breaking all over again. Mel Scott’s video brought back the reality of what every person in the room knew too well – the tragic effects that the loss of a child/ren can have upon a person or family. We were all those people, but we were all survivors. We were all people who had overcome the odds and not allowed the loss of our children to defeat us but to define us into people greater; forever transformed by the memories of our children. The event was a proud celebration of survivors who were making it their aim to help others get through what they had already gone through. As our category was read out I didn’t for a moment think I would be in with a chance of being considered worthy enough to be given the award as all the nominated people in the category were incredible. Every one of their stories were so touching and moving, I was just touched to be a part of an event. When my name was read I was shocked to say the least. I was still processing the bunch of flowers I’d receive earlier and now this! When I got up to give my speech I was totally held back by stunned silence. Now if you know me you’ll know this isn’t an occurrence that happens often! Ha-ha. It’s probably only now, a week later I can probably reflect on this properly. Our little book had begun as just words on a page until it was inspired to become so much more by the midwife, Sue, who delivered Micah (who sat literally right in front of me as I gave my speech). From its humble beginning it has grown and grown each day. We have been so touched by how it has helped so many people from all over the world. We are so thankful for all the help and support of family, friends, our faith and many professionals who have made this dream become a reality. To take home an award is a wonderful achievement, although very bittersweet. Someone made a statement in their speech at the awards – ‘there are no winners in baby loss’ which is so true. I would much rather be sat at home on a Saturday night with a small toddler tucked up in bed, instead my life is very different. An award feels like an achievement but really keeping my head above water some days has been the far greater achievement. The waves of grief have grown less and less but still trickle, Little Fingers has certainly helped with this. Thank you to everyone who has supported it, made it grow and become what it is today. I’m sure it is a wonderful legacy of our little boy who was very much wanted and loved. The Butterfly Awards gave us the opportunity to meet and build some great connections with people who have taken our little book back to their places of work and organisations and chosen to use it as a resource to help the families that they work with. I’m so thankful that the darkest part of my journey could be a light to others on theirs so that they really aren’t alone in the shadows. Together we are all working together to lift the taboo and darkness that surrounds baby loss as much as we can. Overall the Butterfly Awards was an incredible event, organised so well to make it a memorable and inspiring evening from start to finish. Everyone who attended would have been amazed by the amount of organisations across this country with hearts and purposes to help others like themselves, for this the Baby Loss Community should be proud. Proud of what they achieve each day and how inspiring they are. To me that is what is so comforting about being part of community of passionate people wanting to make this world a better place. I am proud of my friends - my fellow bereaved parents and the work they do. Keep going all of you as everyone is worthy of acknowledgement for all that you do. You are all incredible!
Posted on: Mon, 20 Oct 2014 18:00:00 +0000
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