With all thats going on weve had a smooth transition home. Were in a learning curve on how to adapt to Randys new normal he is scared of food I know this sounds crazy but it can be your worst nightmare after this surgery for weeks, yrs or the rest of your life. Ive researched for all things related to this diet and ideas to try. He is still afraid of choking and or aspirating his food. Weve not got his bed situation figured out yet due to finances and ins not wanting to pay for it of course. The dr recommended that we try to purchase a new bed due to the fact ours is several yrs old and try the wedge for now since anything more is out of the question financially those things are ridicoulsly priced. So were trying to find a bed and wedge that will work and that too is a challenge because we dont know what will work for him and there are no clear cut answers. Hes slept in the recliner the last 2 nights which scares me due to the possible aspiration which many have developed pneumonia from or worse so Im scared to go to sleep and sure as I did last night he had a small amt of contents come up his throat and choke him now I will be paranoid for sure but no more so than him. His anxiety of are we doing the right things am I ok will I make it how will we afford to do all these things they want done to our home all because of me has kicked into high gear for him. But I feel God brought us this far for a reason and somehow we will get this all straightened out and fixed up for him. Hes in tremendous pain which Im sure sleeping in the recliner is not helping and tires so easily it breaks my heart. But on a positive note we spent the day with belle and the boys and he truly loves this. His exhaustion kicks in so he just puts a baby in his lap and sleeps while they do and he says they make him feel better. These little loves are so very precious to us and he didnt think he would live to see them so hes just in heaven. Were babysitting in the morning while justin and belle run some errands since its supposed to be raining and you would think we had won the lottery. Of course , anyone who knows us knows our world always revolved around belle we always and still do think of her as our baby girl. I love seeing her in mommy mode it just melts my heart. Shes doing great, handling 2 kids for the most part all by herself her and justin are really doing a good job. She runs on exhaustion I know so I try to get her to nap and do their laundry dishes etc and of course get my baby fix in. I know one thing and that is God must have a reason for keeping Randy around hes a true fighter and overcame some big odds but I know God can overcome anything. I know our path is far from finished but with God on our side we will fight together this has brought us closer together and anyone who truly knows us know we are very close but something like this makes you cling to the ones you love that much stronger and we have clung to one another sometimes he has more fight and strength than I do. I love this man with all my heart he is the most selfless person I know always worried about others before hisself and would help anyone he could. Our only disagreement is his going back to work but this is how he is knowing we need to get our home up to chemo clean and with his weakened immunity low counts from surgery as well we gotta kind of live in a bubble for a while. But I know God will get us through the financial hardships as well there is no way he can return to work anytime soon and this bothers him the most he feels hes not able to provide and I cannot convince him otherwise. On one last note the post before about quitting dipping we hadnt even got out of little rock that he bought a can ugh yes this was a argument and something I cant understand on his part hoping that he will be able to kick this habit because we pretty much know its why were in the shape were in. So please pray that he will be able to stop dipping get over his financial worries so that he can heal. We thank each and everyone of you and you know who yall are that have been so good to us in this time we couldnt of done it without yall. You were truly lifesavers and everyone else for all you do but most of the prayers. Prayers are working keep them coming and of course the love of our Kash and Hagen have been helping so much too! We truly appreciate each and everyone of you who prays for us thats all we ask. We also ask that you remember all the others in the community fighting this awful disease. Keep them in your prayers as well. God Bless yall.
Posted on: Sat, 11 Oct 2014 03:59:28 +0000
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