With the death of the beloved and talented Robin Williams, there has been a push for more public awareness to expose the warning signs and the many faces of depression. With that push has come the conviction for me to live openly and to expose my own feelings and struggles with this disease in hopes that others may relate and contemplate their own desires and convictions. Sometimes it feels as though one has to fight for everything that is good in one’s life. And sometimes, it’s easy to wonder how or why getting through that fight comes so easily to some people while so many others just seem to flounder in their struggles. I don’t know the answer to that question. I don’t know that answer because it’s so relative to each individuals life. For me as I’m sure with others, it comes in many forms… the lack of money, the lack of employment, the lack of family connectedness or relationships, the lack of sleep, the seeming lack of humanity in this world, or simply just the lack of a healthy self esteem. I don’t know why I struggle with these things or why anyone else should ever have to either. But if there is any hope that I can cling on to, it’s that I know I am not the only one over the history of mankind that has ever felt this way. I’m sure millions upon millions of people have fought this very same fight. Some are successful while sadly, some are not. If ever I feel alone I think of this and in a sense it gives me a very strong sense of pride. Amidst all of my “failures”, I know that overcoming each and every one of them has made me a stronger person. And I’ll gladly own each and every struggle because it means that if I can only keep on going, then I am a success. As a boy watching my parents I didn’t understand what it meant to grow up. But as I’ve grown into my own skin, I’ve realized that my life has been steeped in love by those that came before me. I have the strength of my father and the determination of my mother. I have my Grandpa John’s chin. My Grandpa Barney’s belly and long beard. I have the artistic abilities of my Grandma Venneida and the fortitude and resilience of my Grandma Ilean. I have many many gifts to share that make my life worth living. And I’m sure, that if you sit and think about it when times are tough and if you would allow yourself to see them, that you do too. I wrote this song in a dark time. And though it was only recorded on my phone as I wrote it, I feel the subject is of more substance than the quality. I pray that through my darkest hours, that others may see the light.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 23:49:06 +0000
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