Wives, husbands and payslips THE question whether spouses should show each other their payslips has generated debate among people in formal employment. Conceptor Mwanza, a teacher at Rhodes Park School in Lusaka, says her payslip and earnings are personal and cannot be disclosed to her spouse. And John Hambulo, who is also a teacher, says men who disclose their payslips to their wives are under petticoat government. But MTN chief sales and distribution officer Amon Jere says his payslip is an open book to his wife. Mwanza, who is married to a businessman, says her husband does not need to see her payslip. “He does not have to see my payslip; there is no need. I do my share, I help provide for the house by buying groceries and so on. Sometimes I show him the money, and that is enough. He does not have to see the payslip,” she says. Mwanza adds that her salary is the fruit of her personal hard work, which is why she will not reveal her payslip. “It is not his money and it is not his job; it is my job. Why should he be interested in my money? But well, if he ever he demands for it, maybe I will show him,” she says. But when asked whether she would ask to see her husband’s payslip if he were the one in formal employment, she replies: “If roles changed, I would ask to see his payslip. Actually, I would have to see it so that I can manage the house and compare money spent and money earned. Well, it would even be a guide for me to know my limit.” Mwanza adds that every husband has to make his payslip and earnings available because even the Bible identifies men as providers. And Hambulo says only a man under petticoat government would be so naïve to reveal his payslip. “I do not need to show her my payslip; I do not ask her about hers. What is important is that I am making available the household needs. That is what we refer to as petticoat government. Next, she will even begin to question on a missing K20,” he says. Hambulo says women are very irrational accountants and for them, if any money is unaccounted for or not spent by them, then ‘it went to a girlfriend’. “If she sees my payslip now, even when I want to go for a drink with the fellas, I will have to beg ati ‘mpelako K100’. And let’s say I spend an extra K200 on talk time or other miscellaneous expenditures, you will see her uproar. So for this reason, I just do not show her my payslip,” he says. Hambulo questions why he should make his payslip available to his wife when he does not ask for hers. “It is funny how you women pester us about our money. My wife has never shown me her payslip. I have no idea how much she makes. When she gets paid, she spends her money on whatever she deems fit,” he says. Hambulo says the payslip is private and should not be shown to anyone. “I earn the money alone. It is not like if I make it available to her, she will add something to it. The important thing is I provide for the household,” he says. Hambulo has been married for 23 years and says he has never shown his wife his payslip and will never do so. But Jere explains in an interview that the issue of payslips has destroyed marriages because most men are unwilling to reveal their earnings to their wives. “My payslip is an open book. My wife needs to know exactly how much I am making as this will help us plan. Transparency of finances in the house will lessen unnecessary demands from my wife,” he says. Jere says men who hide their payslips from their wives are often unfaithful. “Those who normally hide their payslips, you will find are the ones who buy cars and houses for their girlfriends at the expense of their family. That is what lack of transparency can do,” he says. Jere says when he chats with friends over a drink, it is quite ironic how they say they do not show their payslips to their wives. “The payslip is an open book. Why should you hide a payslip? Your family should know how much you earn. As you go for work, they know you are going to earn a living and they should support you. Why hide a payslip? What are you hiding or embarrassed of?” he wonders. Jere says transparency between husbands and wives should start from as early as the contract agreement. “Starting from your contract of employment, you table it with your family; what you will be entitled to and what the benefits will be and how much you will be getting. When the payslip starts coming, she ought to see it. If you are going to borrow money from the bank, you need to agree as a family. On your payslip, she will even be able to see the deductions and see which monies are available,” says Jere. Meanwhile, Zambia Congress of Trade Unions president Leonard Hikaumba says high-income earners are the ones mostly in the habit of not revealing their payslips to spouses and diverting their money to other ventures which their spouses would object to. “The trend usually is with those who earn a lot. They may not want the spouse to know because they want to probably spend part of it elsewhere. But you will find for those who are mostly lowly-paid, they are transparent,” he says. Hikaumba says spouses should never keep their payslips secret as the practice could cause tension in the home. “With a spouse, there should be no secrets. The spouse is supposed to know everything. They are supposed to know what the other person is getting. This actually eases tension in the home,” Hikaumba says. He adds that keeping a payslip private could lead to demands and expectations beyond the actual income of one’s spouse. “It can be private as far as other people are concerned. That is your own personal business. It should be known within the home but not with other people outside,” he says. University of Zambia lecturer Carole Chibbonta says couples that hide their payslips do not trust each other. “I am more concerned about my household but I have heard people complaining that they do not know how much their husbands earn. For me, it means there is no trust. Why else would someone keep their money secret from their spouse? So it boils down to the issue of trust,” she says. Chibbonta says spouses are responsible to one another and the unity of marriage makes them one. “At the end of the day, that money is yours; it should be yours together. You are responsible to one another and you should be accountable to one another. The minute you begin hiding what you are earning, well that raises suspicion,” Chibbonta says. She adds that knowing how much one’s husband earns does not give her the right to make him account for every penny he spends. “I do not follow each and every penny, but I see the investment he is making. We have that arrangement; a car breaks down in the house, it is his duty. We do not necessarily sit down and plan. My husband has told me ‘Do what you want’. So for me, what I do is I run the home… day-to-day running of the home, and he does the big things,” says Chibbonta.
Posted on: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 06:55:00 +0000
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