Woke up. Had a full breakdown over the state of our world. Now I am going to take a walk to clear my head. Then begin work on two big projects that I have tight deadlines for, one to be handed in by Monday, and the other next weekend. It might make a difference, but to whom? To what end? I dont know. I feel pretty badly for failing wild this morning, because frankly we all are failing wild daily, and failing ourselves daily, by perpetuating the current paradigm that has no compunction, compassion, or comprehension of coexistence. I am going to go mope on the streets of NY about it...which makes me want to call bullshit on my life, as I am part of the system, the very system I am trying to cast a light on to help save the last of our thriving biodiversity. I feel like Macbeth. I have blood on my hands that I cant wash off, because every paycheck we each receive buys into the economy that results in the global devastation of natural resources. What is the point? What the hell am I doing with my life? What difference does any of it make? Feel absolutely miserable about how many lives we betray daily with our choices and interests. I am totally paralyzed by the scale at which all this destruction is taking place. The world I live in barely makes any sense to me, what I do in it everyday makes even less sense, and everything is rich in contradictions. All of it is steeped in the pervasive smell of bullshit. I honestly dont know if there is a point, if there is hope, but I cannot be so presumptuous as to know the end, I can only follow my passion. So I guess Ill do what I can, the best I know how until my last breath. Cant say it isnt splintering my soul to know of all the loss I am responsible for in this world... We are each responsible for all this loss, we dont get to let ourselves off the hook for caring and doing something to help, because we perpetuate both loss and life. The brand of toothpaste you use might be saving a rainforest, but the phone you use might be destroying Congos remaining wild. Its easy to shirk your role in it, but that doesnt really empower you to address whats at stake. A lot is at stake. Life is at stake.
Posted on: Sat, 15 Nov 2014 17:36:46 +0000
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