Work Memo Business must follow numerous rules and regulations laid down by government agencies. So maybe we shouldnt have been surprised by the memo from the county Department of Health Services. The month of August has been designated as Breast-Feeding Awareness Month, it read. It is a good time for employers to review their policies relative to breast-feeding employees. Computa-holic 12-Step Program 1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web. 2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing. 3) I will get dressed before noon. 4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web. 5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived. 6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web. 7) I will read a book...if I still remember how. 8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web. 9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email. 10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not. 11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web. 12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime ... and the Web will always be there tomorrow! Managers Quotes Recently, a magazine ran a contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life managers. Here are some of the submissions: - As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp in Redmond, WA.) - What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping) - E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company) - This project is so important, we cant let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service) - Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! Weve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and Ill let you know when its time to tell them. (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.) - Quote from the Boss: Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say. (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation) - We recently received a memo from senior management saying: This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above. (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division) - One day my Boss asked for a status report concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it! (New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards.) Quick Q and As Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster and a dog? A: A cocka-poodle-doo! --- Q. Why cant you play hide-and-seek with poultry in a Chinese restaurant? A. Because of the Peking Duck.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 16:42:55 +0000
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