Would you... ...allow your child to eat all the candy from their Halloween bag that they wanted to in one sitting? ...let your child stay up as late as they wanted every night? ...skip dinner to eat dessert each day? ...go ahead and invite the whole class of 25 kids over for your childs first slumber party because their ALL my friends, mom! ...do whatever it is that captures their attention and interest no matter the impact on their health and well being? I would venture to say, other than the now and again moments when we look the other way, most of you would limit the candy, stick to a reasonable bedtime, request healthy food to be eaten first, keep the slumber party numbers to a manageable amount, and put your childs health and well being at the forefront of most (if not all) decisions. So tell me...what is it about technology--iPads, Tablets, iPhones, television, computers--that has so many parents willingly letting their children immerse themselves in their use DESPITE the knowledge that growing healthy brains in the younger years means keeping them off of screens? If your goal as a parent is to have a well behaved child who can manage themselves even in restaurants you undermine just this by handing them a screen to occupy them--now instead of growing their ability to be patient, to manage themselves, to learn what restaurants are all about you are instead teaching them that an outside source is the only way they can behave. Trust me, this will backfire tremendously as your child grows. Go talk to parents of teens. If your desire to have a child who is tech savvy (hence the reason you let your toddler play with APPS), know that what a future tech savvy child needs is to be creative, a problem solver, able to persevere, focus their attention...and the way these qualities are grown has nothing to do with screen use in the early years. Nope. What they need is hands on, sensory and language rich, relationship based interactions. A 3 dimensional world to navigate. Unless you are actively involved with your little one as they peruse a screen--talking with rich language (instead of just push that, click that), asking them questions, touching and playing your way through and using 3-dimensional materials alongside--the screen is displacing just the learning they need the most. If your reason to rely on screens is to distract your child so you can accomplish something--I get it. That is why we limited TV to no more than 30 minutes a day (age 3 on) in our house and often never watched. That way, when I REALLY needed time, I was comfortable with letting my girls watch a PBS show. When we regularly use screen to distract we are, again, shooting ourselves in the foot for just what we really want--a child who can manage themselves, be self-directed, be patient...we are saying, You need this to help you decide what to do, to keep yourself under control, to stay out of my way... Yikes. If you get real joy out of watching your little one work on a screen--share that joy with them. And carry it over to some real play and joyful interaction as soon as you can. Let them soak up the photos on your iPhone as you tell them the stories that go with them, Oh! Thats when you and Grandpa dug the deepest hole ever! What else did you and Gpa do that day? Not only are you now helping grow a healthy brain, you are building wonderful relationships. Be clear on the end you have in mind for your child. Think ahead, just as you do with how much candy they can have, what bedtime promotes the best nights sleep, what foods help them stay and grow healthy. Think ahead--and then be ready to clearly set limits on technology use. Educate yourself, know that the more you can put it aside in the younger years, the more you are building for success down the road. Check out the book, Talking Back To Facebook. It is excellent for parents. Take the time to read the American Academy of Pediatrics latest recommendations. Take the time to ask parents of teens what their experience is. Take the time to talk to your childs teachers--they are often the front line for the results of too much screen. Take the time to parent your child well. You and they are worth every ounce of resilience and patience and understanding you can dig up as you tuck your iPhone and the iPad away for another time. Thank you for listening. © 2013 Alice Hanscam
Posted on: Tue, 29 Oct 2013 16:35:48 +0000
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